Friday, July 21, 2006
After The Lecture
I don't mind God's lectures too much. Not anymore, anyway. Not since I realized with all my heart that He loves me no matter what and the plans He makes for me are more amazing than ones I could ever, ever imagine for myself.
Yesterday Tom had lunch with a project manager about that job in, well, ok I'll say it-- Southern California. (I hope you Californians will forgive me for all the bad things I've said about your state. I lived there for 29 years, though, so it's not like I was talking about things I know nothing about.)
Anyway, Tom came back more excited than ever about taking this 2-year-long job 3,000 miles away from our present home.
Sigh. (And here's a note: after 11 days, neither of us can still think of one single good thing for me if I was to go to So. California. Not one.)
And well, last night I awoke at 2 a.m. and that's when the lecture from God began... I'm just thankful it was one of His more gentle lectures. Basically (to spare you all the details) He told me to let Tom do what he wants to do... and to stop playing games, attempting to get Tom to change his mind (you wives know about the games we can play, don't you?)... and to realize that this can be an exciting, life-changing time for both of us--and that's how I need to view this--with anticipation.
Well, there was more, but that's the brunt of it. And I had to smile, lying there with my head upon the pillow, for I realized why God often lectures us during morning's early hours--that's when we're too tired, too sleepy to kick and scream and fight back.
Is God smart, or what?
So I told Tom this morning that God had lectured me about accepting this, He'd told me to stop playing I'll-get-you-to-change-your-mind games and to just prepare for this with anticipation... to look forward to my time here watching the old home place...with Him. Days and days alone with Him.
Of course, Tom was certainly glad to hear that.
So although we're not 100% certain that Tom will take this job which has been offered to him--in August he'll fly out there for a closer look--we're going to act and prepare as though he will. Basically, the job is his if he wants it. And well, he wants it.
I realize some of you think I should go with him and years ago when I thought everyone should live One Certain Way (my way)--I'd have agreed with you. Trust me, if Tom insisted that I go with him, if he threw around the dreaded 's word'--submission--then I would. Whining and muttering, yes, but hey... I'd still go. But he's not so I'm not. Going, that is.
So there's where we are right now. We won't know for a few more weeks if he'll take this job for certain. But this is probably the last time I'll bring it up until we do know. And too, Tom has promised that after the 2 years, we'd then move to a place we both wanted to live--and that's something to look forward to, also.
But the good thing? Once I accepted what God wanted me to accept, He was then free to do His part, which was releasing joy and grace and anticipation about this whole new life He has in mind for us both. But my acceptance had to come first.
"A man's steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?" ... Proverbs 20:24 .... (I love this verse because it assures me that half the time we don't even understand what God is doing in our own life, so who are we to judge the plans He makes for other people?)