Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Pop & Me

Tom and I just finished watching the dvd documentary called Pop & Me. It's a film a father and his adult son made during their 6-month trip around the world while they also interviewed other fathers and sons in various countries.

We loved it. Laughed and cried through the whole bittersweet thing. And we felt sad for the father--he'd so loved being a dad to his three sons, but now they were all grown-up and he, himself, was divorced from their mother and at 55 (or so) had retired. He was lonely... you could see it all over him and hear it in his voice.

Just watching him reaffirmed to me the need for couples to put their own relationship before that of their relationship with their children... otherwise, when your children leave (as they will and should), you, as a parent, might very well be left by yourself. As this man was. He went on this trip with his son to places he and his wife had traveled with their sons while they were tiny... and when he would reach those countries and stand in those same places, he only found himself feeling, basically, worse. His wife was gone and his boys, though he still shared good relationships with them, were living lives of their own. Everything had changed.

It was a reminder, too, to have a life of one's own even before one's children have completely left the nest. Then the leaving is not nearly as traumatic. I began finding that 'extra life' while Naomi was early in high school and I am still grateful. The transition was made much, much easier since I had a life apart from the one I have with her.

Anyway, I recommend Pop & Me, especially if you can watch it with a TV Guardian dvd player (there was some bad language, not a lot as in some films, but enough to make me glad we didn't have to hear it). There were many lessons shared in this film and many issues one generally has with one's parents. Like I said, we could identify.

I love road trip films as a rule... and both Tom and I enjoyed this one, bittersweetness and all.

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