Uh-oh. I have M.O.
Gah. I've been walking around the house and yard like a zombie, feeling as though every task is too much, too hard. Mumbling to myself, "Must. Get. Out. Of. Here. Must. Get. Off. This. Complicated. Farm."
Well, duh! I've been too driven about finding a house in a whole other state. Yesterday, by day's end, I felt as though I'd been dragged miles around to houses in Tennessee, Georgia, Kentucky and North Carolina. My eyes were so bleary that every house began looking the same.
Every task has felt too hard. Like too much. Well, except for the boxing-up of things I no longer want. I am loving that--mostly I just want to chuck it all away! Start over in a little house with a tiny yard and live as my grandparents wisely did. They were in their 50's when they moved to California from Nebraska and they brought barely a thing. Just what they needed and a few pictures to hang on the wall.
That's it. And they were happy, happy people. Extremely contented, too.
So there's my new goal--to live as my grandparents did. Simply. True to the Debra which God created, not the overloaded one I've made lately. And without clutter which can somehow jump from a shelf into your head (I am finding).
So I'll be taking a media break for a few days. I'll probably be here in my blog about the same amount of time (hanging out here is pleasant), but oh, I need to stay far away from all the other stuff that 'so easily besets me' (as the Bible would say). All the wild house searches and the message boards and state profiles and news articles and people arguing about nothing.
I need calm. Quiet. Silence. Sunshine. I need to live as my grandparents did. I know that now. That is my clear direction and lately, it's true progress that I even recognize that. (Trust me.) And if M.O. helped awaken me to that, well, I'm grateful.
You must know yourself in order to know what you need to keep your sanity. And you must ask for help in keeping it--ask God, your spouse, your friends, anyone who will listen and help you find what you need to be wholly healthy.
"... you have not because you ask not." ... James 4:2
I'm glad a lot of you enjoyed the garage house. Thanks for letting me know! I'm thinking I enjoy the simplicity of it--having just one bedroom again reminds me of our apartment in 2008 and how happy Tom and I were there, like two newlyweds who were free to roam and not tied down to a bunch of stuff. Happy sigh.