Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Here's one thing I've learned--there is faithfulness and then there is faithfulness.
I mean, if I wrote in this blog every single day (which maybe you noticed I don't), I would be quite the little faithful blogger, indeed.
Or would I?
For me, personally, the answer is a sure "No. No, it would actually be unfaithful of me to blog every single day."
Because you see, I try only to post here when 1.) I feel God is giving me something specific to say or 2.) When I feel God's giving me permission to write about well, just anything ol' thing I happen to be doing or thinking about. And for nearly two years, I've experienced much peace in trying to follow those two directives.
So what about the days when I'm hearing neither of those things? What if, to remain true to my (legalistic) idea of faithful blog-keeping, I just blast past God's directions for me straight through to my own idea of what faithfulness looks like or what someone else says it is?
Well, for me, that would equal disobedience, otherwise known as unfaithfulness (no matter what it looks like to anyone else). For me, faithfulness to things is what used to burn me out barely after even 'leaving the gate.' Doing ones own thing, ones own way, nearly always requires some kind of price to be paid someday--usually having something to do with stress. Good old-fashioned I-can't-take-this-anymore-why-did-I-agree-to-do-this-time-consuming-thing? stress.
Been there, done that the whole first half of my life.
Now, instead, I am finding that faithfulness to God--obedience--is the way to go. There's just something amazing, calming, about obedience to God.
For one thing, God knows me better than I know myself. He knows how much is too much for me. He knows what will push me over the edge. He also knows exactly just how much time I have/don't have and He's concerned that I stay balanced. So, always, His ideas and goals will lead me in balanced ways.
Obedience comes with godly strength. When God wants me to faithfully do something, He provides the stamina, the money, the time and the wisdom to do it. (But of course, I must listen carefully and obey just as carefully in order to walk in all that.)
Obedience means that the results belong to God... I can give Him the credit for what went right (realizing--not just saying--the whole thing was His idea). Or I can hand over to Him any flack or difficulties I got from people, since only God can work on hearts, anyway. (And again, trusting that since this was His idea, not mine, He's going somewhere with this, even after He releases me from my part of it.)
Always, even now, I remind myself that faithfulness to God is incredibly more important than faithfulness to a task, an idea or a dream. They are not the same thing. God's ways are higher than mine and just that one fact explains why His ways usually make no sense at all to my mind.
All the more reason to stick with faithfulness to God... Besides, I'd hate to have my head so consumed by faithfulness to just any old thing and then miss the amazing, custom-made, though hazy-to-me plan God had in mind all along.