The 'Supposed To Be' Disease

During my Nevada Years so much joy totally bypassed me because I'd contracted the dreaded 'Supposed To Be' Disease.

Tom's job was 100 miles away out in the middle of the desert (literally) so he and his co-workers lived out there for four days and then came home for four days.

And well, of course, (I thought), things just are not supposed to be that way. 

As a husband and father Tom was supposed to be home every night for dinner. He was supposed to be there whenever sinks and drains got plugged up or Naomi had a concert or when we had loud lightning storms. He was supposed to be home just like every other husband was home. Right? And while I was at it, people (like us) were supposed to live near their relatives, not in the middle of nowhere and we were supposed to be able to have more than just one child and Tom was supposed to get every holiday and Sunday off like my friends' husbands did.

Good gracious. I was so self-absorbed in my assumptions that I didn't even consider all the wives living at the nearby Naval Air Station--wives who sometimes lived without their husbands lots longer than just four days. Not to mention the millions of single women who no longer even had husbands or children at all or enough money or --. 

But Self is like that. It blows a thick fog of selfishness somewhere behind our eyes, one which blocks out any view of others in need and we concentrate on our own misery rather than relieve the discomfort of others. Self rolled in a fog so thick that I too often ignored how blessed I was to have Tom home for four whole days out of eight.

There is more than one way to live! And amazingly, if we'll let Him, God will give us grace, strength and happiness while we're marching to different beats and drummers and accepting, making better, those things which cannot be changed.

Except that in Nevada, I did not let Him. It saddens me whenever I recall our years in Nevada--not because of what took place there--but because of how I too often allowed the Supposed To Be Disease rob me of simple joys, appreciation and the realization of how I was becoming, in some ways, better equipped to handle Life's emergencies, especially the ones which only seem to happen while your husband is out-of-town.

Again, there are many ways to live. 

And how freeing it was for me to finally 'get it'-- to realize it's ok if my life is not like everyone else's. As long as I have God's stamp of approval and His encouragement, well, it becomes just one of many different and amazing ways in which to live for Him.



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