Thursday, June 15, 2006

Trying To Share What I Didn't Have...




"... he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts." ... Acts 11:23

******

One of my (many) biggest problems for years was that I encouraged people to do what I, myself, wasn't doing.

I mean, words fall flat when I encourage people not to worry while I, myself, am a card-carrying member of Worriers Anonymous.

There's no power when I'm patting a woman on her shoulder, telling her to stay calm because God is all-powerful--and then, myself, going home and stressing-out over the tiniest mishap.

Personally, I don't want to be a kind of stressed-out, whining, fearful, impatient, frustrated, just-plain-sad Christian.

That quota's been filled.

So years ago it hit me-- I should slow down and let God work on me first.  I needed to take time out for Him to empty me of myself and all those rickety, laughable self-improvements I'd attempted--and then fill me with Him so that finally, I would have something worth pouring out to others.

It took years. It is still taking years (and oh, what I am finding in Friendship with Him. Like, something's gotta change in His presence--and it ain't God). ツ

Time (and humility) are required to empty out a soul of a whole lifetime of so-called improvements and the changes are worth every pause, every hidden minute of coming away which they required.

Because, finally, there appears something Real to pour out to others. Something they--we--needed all along. Something I can now give while God's still emptying me of myself.


******

No comments: