So we put in a bid on Hobbit Cottage yesterday. Since it's a holiday weekend we're still waiting to hear back from the owners, but that's ok-- I'll just keep arranging all the furniture inside my head. (I'm thinking I'll create a 1920's-style kitchen in the basement. Cool, huh?)
Anyway. For the past year, especially, I've felt disappointed in myself that this whole farm thing overwhelmed me nearly from Day One. Oh, at first the excitement of a whole new life thrilled and invigorated me, but you do know, don't you, that stuff wears off. Emotions carry us only a certain distance, then crash! Drop us in the road.
Only if God is 100% in our plans will He keep us stepping strong. Otherwise, He's not obligated to sweep-up messes we made in places we should never have wandered in the first place.
And I knew all that way before we even moved here--and believed I'd be avoiding it in this new farm life--but no. It all caught up to me and nipped me in my knickers.
But remember that verse about 'counting it all joy when we fall into various trials'? That's exactly what I'm doing--celebrating. Celebrating that now I know God made me a suburb girl with farmgirl dreams which were meant to just remain dreams and lived-out vicariously through back-to-the-land books and blogs.
And that's ok. It's very ok and I'm seeing I'm not a one-hundred-and-mumble-mumble-pound weakling just because I couldn't run a farm. No, God simply made me a strong (in Him) suburb woman, instead, one who loves to read and write and encourage and decorate.
And that's plenty. A lot, really, but you'll not hear me complaining about being overwhelmed with those things. No, when I carry out those activities I'm given all the stamina required because that's where Grace hangs out--within my God-ordained borders... within a sort of white picket fence with all the room I need to run in the joy which comes from having found my custom-made homeplace of the heart upon this Earth.
(And my oh my, I'm just about wild to return there.)
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I love what Mary Jane Butters says, "Farmgirl is a condition of the heart." So true! And we farmgirls can be found anywhere, even hundreds of miles away from the nearest farm. What matters is that we remain close to that farmgirl heart inside us.
4 comments:
Just a thought. You could go through your paper files and any boxes you have around. You'll find things you won't need or want in your new home. I did that yesterday and it was such a mood lifter. My daughter even came for a good hour to help me since she is a terrific organizer. Now, I have a good start on my continuing project of clearing out and having what I love and need around. Best to you as you find the little home that will keep your life simple with more time to enjoy life.
Rita--actually I began decluttering weeks ago. heh. :) I am so antsy to get out of here! With each box I take out to our carport, I feel pounds lighter and years younger. We'll be having a yard sale as soon as we go through every single drawer, cupboard and closet. As I told Tom, in a house that small, we'll need to know ahead of time where each and every item goes. :) My best to you in your own decluttering and thanks for your encouragement! ...Debra
I would dearly love to get rid of about half of the stuff we have. That would free up so much space.
Life is for learning...and how could you have learned what you did, except to live where you have?? Maybe you were just too old when this part of the journey began...it is hard to see the energy seeping away, from my perspective...and tho' I admire people who seemingly can "do it all", kind of like MaryJane Butters, it ain't me baby!! I am pretty much a slug...I am not managing well enough with what I have, so we are PARING down too. Daughter gets as much as she will take in her little apt she is moving into...and then we will have to figure out about the rest. REALLY? It takes VERY few items to live ok, at this stage of life...so very few!! We have gone on enough business trips to learn that!! In 2 weeks you can pretty much see how little it takes.
So have fun...anticipation is sometimes half the joy.
Blessings, Elizabeth in NC
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