So we put in a bid on Hobbit Cottage yesterday. Since it's a holiday weekend we're still waiting to hear back from the owners, but that's ok-- I'll just keep arranging all the furniture inside my head. (I'm thinking I'll create a 1920's-style kitchen in the basement. Cool, huh?)
Anyway. For the past year, especially, I've felt disappointed in myself that this whole farm thing overwhelmed me nearly from Day One. Oh, at first the excitement of a whole new life thrilled and invigorated me, but you do know, don't you, that stuff wears off. Emotions carry us only a certain distance, then crash! Drop us in the road.
Only if God is 100% in our plans will He keep us stepping strong. Otherwise, He's not obligated to sweep-up messes we made in places we should never have wandered in the first place.
And I knew all that way before we even moved here--and believed I'd be avoiding it in this new farm life--but no. It all caught up to me and nipped me in my knickers.
But remember that verse about 'counting it all joy when we fall into various trials'? That's exactly what I'm doing--celebrating. Celebrating that now I know God made me a suburb girl with farmgirl dreams which were meant to just remain dreams and lived-out vicariously through back-to-the-land books and blogs.
And that's ok. It's very ok and I'm seeing I'm not a one-hundred-and-mumble-mumble-pound weakling just because I couldn't run a farm. No, God simply made me a strong (in Him) suburb woman, instead, one who loves to read and write and encourage and decorate.
And that's plenty. A lot, really, but you'll not hear me complaining about being overwhelmed with those things. No, when I carry out those activities I'm given all the stamina required because that's where Grace hangs out--within my God-ordained borders... within a sort of white picket fence with all the room I need to run in the joy which comes from having found my custom-made homeplace of the heart upon this Earth.
(And my oh my, I'm just about wild to return there.)
I love what Mary Jane Butters says, "Farmgirl is a condition of the heart." So true! And we farmgirls can be found anywhere, even hundreds of miles away from the nearest farm. What matters is that we remain close to that farmgirl heart inside us.