It is the best of times, the worst of times.
But everything is going to be ok.
Yesterday McCartney the Cat began going downhill and so today will be her final full one. I look at her sleeping over on the love seat and try not to cry. I hold her and long for just two more weeks. Just two more! But within me, I know that, too, wouldn't be enough.
So now we're dealing with death and moving and packing and downsizing and flinging away and believing Naomi will find a safe place to rent (and letting her go again) and trusting God that, well, as I said--everything will be ok.
And it will be--in Time. Give God time and He can change your whole world from the inside-out. But of course, we're all usually so darn impatient and want everything wrapped up in a pretty blue ribbon, like, now. Who wants to wait for anything anymore?
But we must wait and it's how we wait that matters most to God. Were we patient? Or huge, whining crybabies?
I spoke with our young neighbor, (Cute Little Julie's Mom I call her), out at our mailbox yesterday and discovered she'd been feeling sad and bad for us, what with our selling this farm where we'd only lived three years. Oh my! I assured her I can't wait to return to my Real Life back in the suburbs. To again have time and energy for what God's gifted me to do, but this time knowing I'm exactly where I'm meant to be. Suburb Girl gone home.
It's funny how probably every day each of us assumes we understand other peoples' motives, actions, decisions, yet usually! We're all wrong. In fact, I often remind myself of this remarkable verse:
"A man's steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?" ... Proverbs 20:24
Indeed! If half the time we don't even get what God's doing in our own lives, why then are we so tempted to figure-out and comment upon others' actions? Yes, that verse keeps me 'reigned in' and helps explain why I hardly ever write here about people in the news. For goodness' sake--it's bad enough when I attempt second-guessing my friends' deeds, but to try that with total strangers! Not good, not pleasing to God, I imagine.
Anyway. I read an article this morning about the millions of people out of work for months and years and, all over again, I felt extreme gratitude to God for His provision for Tom and me, for placing within our hearts a desire to downsize and for showing us it's--truly--not about who has the coolest house and the most toys, land or vacation memories. But rather, it's about obedience to our callings and loving a huge God with all our hearts. And trusting Him for everything else.
If you could remember my family in prayer on Monday morning as we take McCartney to the vet for the final time, well, we'd appreciate it so much. Thanks.