"And the Lord shall make you the head, and not the tail; and you shall be above only, and you shall not be beneath, if you heed the commandments of the Lord ... and are watchful to do them." ... Deuteronomy 28:13
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My oh my... it was one rough week around here, around the inside of my head, especially. I so felt beneath things and as though I was the tail of everything and certainly not the head of anything. I kept quoting Peter Walsh's, "It's all too much!" .
Oh dear.
While sailing along the countryside, I even told Tom I didn't care how long we stayed out because I just didn't want to go home(!) He asked why not and I said, "Ugh. Don't ask. Just don't wanna go back there for awhile."
Tsk, tsk. I know.
But still, I held on, kept believing for change. For things to feel right again. I reminded myself that someday I'd feel good and normal again (though a couple times, I did wonder. er hem.). Spoke Bible verses and favorite quotes.
And then another Suddenly! You know, "And suddenly there was with them a great host of angels" or "Suddenly there was an earthquake and the doors of the prison opened wide." One thing was one sad way then suddenly! It changed forever in a simple moment.
Well, there I was this morning draped across the loveseat in my Mom Cave, reading the book Understood Betsy by Dorothy Canfield, when I finished, brought my eyes up from the page and then suddenly! I felt fine. Not beneath anything. Not under. No longer feeling as though I'd rolled back down the mountain God spent years pushing me up.
No, suddenly my head rose woosh! above the waters of gloom and into Light.
It was subtle--no angels singing, no noise of any kind-- but it was awesome. Made me shake my head with wonder. And I've felt like good ol' Debra ever since.
Happy, happy day.
I'm sharing that to say this simple thing: Please never give up on suddenlies happening to you. Keep believing as best you can, don't let yourself go so low that it'll take months to pull you up.
Believe, even during the hard times, for lovely normal. Oh, it can return so soon it'll make your head spin--in gratitude.
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Today a pair of real-live bluebirds spent some time at Tom and Debra's Outdoor Bird Restaurant. We were excited! Our first sighting, ever.
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Oh, and for just $1 at a yard sale yesterday, I bought Threading The Needle by Marie Bostwick. Devoured it. And the godly lessons tucked inside pleasantly surprised me.
And remember my mention of Leave It To Claire? I immediately ordered the next two in the series because of that book's excellence (our library system didn't have either, so I used my amazon gift card from that thingamajig in my sidebar. Thanks again for your help with that!)
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7 comments:
I believe you will love your new home in or near the city and the urban life. I do. I like to be close to the stores and yet far enough away for peace of mind. I wanted another little dog this week so much. But....I only have room and money for the dog that I have and I'm thankful God helped me say no to myself. Same with the stray cats that go by. I put water out for them in this hot weather and sometimes a bit of dry food. But I can't have more responsibilities for myself or for my daughter if I become sick. Purging the drawers and closets in my house and I feel like a new person. Your thoughts inspire me and remind me so much of myself. Blessings to you.
I do believe you are rising above the fog bank and drinking in some sunshine :) Positive thoughts and laughter .. plus God's word are all healing tools. If I may suggest that you work on a few mind puzzles (you know the kind in the newspapers) .. it will greatly help your mind get through the mud puddle days with a sharpened sense of being. At least that's what I keep telling myself when I work on them ..
Hoo Ray! I also had a similar experience after a most dreadful year, spent mostly depressed. All of a sudden, the moribund thoughts I had about my life whisked away and a great lightness and old-time contentment came back upon me after a heart to heart talk with my hubby, confirming our mutual hopes and desires. Then, 2 days later we go the great news that has catapulted us into this whirlwind of activity that we are going through to start our new life of joy.
Spent the weekend looking at houses in our new city (had to fly there and back!) and in half a day felt totally right about a vintage home, well cared and loved for by the original owners of 50 years! Fabulous original bathrooms and hardwood flooring!
Going through the contract process, now, and expect God will see us through the hectic process to get us in that house in a month, or so. :)
Between you and Joyce some good words today Debra. Have an awesome week.
Understood Betsey is one of those books read in girlhood which I stll fondly remember--oddly, I was thinking about that story this week as I hung out the wash.
It is difficult when beloved animals [and people, of course] die and leave us. Health, finances, family are legitimate concerns--it is wonderful when an answer--or a burst of strength to continue without an answer--comes through.
So happy to hear about the way you are feeling today, and hoping it will last a long time! And I'm another lover of Understood Betsy. When she gets herself and Mollie from the fair it was one of the most satisfying moments in children's books. thanks for mentioning the two books you did. I've ordered them from my library.
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