Wednesday, October 22, 2008

We're back. Tom and I, that is, from leaving my mom at the airport. We arrived there quite early (traffic was good except for when it wasn't) so we sat with my mom at the diner beside the security line with coffee, dreading good-byes.

Ack. I wish we had a mother-in-law house in our yard so my mom could live with us longer and yet have her own place out there, too, for some space, both (or all) kinds. I mean, right now I've got that we-had-company-for-three-weeks-and-I-feel-like-a-train-hit-me feeling. You know, when you stay 'up' for weeks so you can be entertaining and a good hostess (usually floundering in patterns), and fore go routines and then, afterward, you come crashing down, muddle-headed, and all that sounds good is a 16-hour nap.

That's where I am. Again. Especially after eating too much sugar (cookies, sherbet, candy etc.) which Tom freely lugged home because he knew I'd not yell at him in front of my mom. Actually, he did scads more things which annoyed me immensely. In fact, on the way home I got vocally snippy with him and told him it was like all the yelling inside of me had been bottled up for three weeks, very much like when Almanzo Wilder, as a boy, fed his pig some taffy and when he removed it the next day, the pig raced everywhere squealing all the squeals he'd not been able to squeal for hours and hours. :) And of course, that made us both laugh, me a tad hysterically, given the soppy way I felt at the moment.

Anyway, my most often repeated personal slogan is, "I hate complication." Well, I do wish family relationships weren't so darn complicated. But they are lots of the time. Mine, anyway. Yet some things you must just accept because the time for change has passed. But that needs to be ok, must be all right, and acceptance and mercy can go very far to uncomplicate many a relationship, smoothing potential wrinkles or rips.

And so can the aforementioned 16-hour nap which I believe I'll just wander upstairs and see about...
My latest idea in the above photo... A table in our diningroom window to drink coffee and watch birds by. My mom and I painted the chairs last week and the table is that classic old card table we found on the curb the week before. It's also my downstairs craft much light to craft by!


Kristi in the Western Reserve said...

I'm glad that you were able to have your mother with you for three weeks, and while the weather is still inviting people to go outside and enjoy the glories of autumn, the crisp air, the slanting light, the color.....Now, you should just rest ye awhile. Breath deeply again and again and see how good it is. I'm a borderline introvert, so if I don't get time alone my energy levels slowly go down, down, down. I have a sense you are the same. So rest and think and drink in the autumn's beauty and be replenished.Take time to count all the blessings of your time with your Mom!

Lisa said...

I'm glad you had a good visit with your mom. I understand that train wreck feeling. I've been catching up on some of your posts. Love seeing all the neat yard sale stuff you've been finding and fixing up! I love to do that, too. Hope your nap gave you some much needed rest and reenergizing.

nancyr said...

We did build a "guest house" for my mom, behind our house. She paid for about 60 per cent of it, and we paid for the rest. My son built it, and it was the first house he ever built on his own. He was 27 years old, and did a wonderful job.
My mom lived in it as long as she was able to. Advancing Alzheimer's disease finally ended her stay in the house, but she loved every minute of it, and had her own activities.
I will always be glad she had that time in that house. My son now lives there, which is nice, too.

I understand how you feel about adult mother/daughter relationships. We will always feel like a child with our mothers with us 24/7 especially when that mother is a little critical or feels like she knows best due to here experience. It is a gentle reminder to be aware of how we relate to our grown daughters!

Goodbyes are always bittersweet.

Saija said...

i hope you had your 16 hour nap ... and it sounds like you will have tons of good memories to sift through ... maybe at a more leisurely pace!

blessings on ya!

diane said...

Everything you just said Debra sounds completely normal to me. Just rest, and you will recover.
Very cute picture of the table and window scene. I eat too much sugary things around family too.

Emily said...

Debra, I just discovered your blog. I appreciate the way you write and your honesty. Your feelings about family relationships, the need for solitude, having a place to paint and watch the birds, your thoughts on faith...all resonate with me. I'm happy to find a kindred spirit out there!

Pat said...

I can relate to everything you wrote in this blog, especially the 16 hour nap!
If I had that window with that table and that view, I think I might just have to sit a while and stare into space - in preparation for that nap!