Monday, March 06, 2006

Turning Toward Home Early

Today, finally, was the perfect day I'd been waiting for in which to take a walk. (Not that I should be waiting for perfect days to do anything--they are altogether far too rare.) But anyway, I headed out for the little half-block I told you about before, the tiny block where just five houses stand alone and face a field behind an old brick school.

It's only 3 1/2 blocks away and last autumn I walked there nearly everyday and even added a stroll through my favorite old-timey street, the tree-lined one next to ours. But today... oh my... I had to turn around for home before I even reached those five quaint houses because my lower back started hurting. For each step forward, that would mean just one more painful step I'd have to retrace back home.

My winter weight had gotten the best of me. Gah!

Well, I deserved that... After spending the whole winter hibernating in our cozy room with Tom and watching movies and eating innumerable meals and snacks, well, what else did I expect? Especially considering I could feel the extra weight creeping upon me like a huge slug while I lolled there in my comfy pink floral chair all those weeks Tom was on medical leave.

So now I have a choice. I can kick myself, curse myself, bog down in the mire of guilt and imagine that the whole town is chatting about what a heavy pig I have become and feel rushed to lose every ugly extra pound before April...


I can accept this as a challenge to straighten-up and fly right and lose the weight slowly.

Years past, I used to live in the Land of Guilt. What a horrible place, because in that land it is always cloudy and everything you do is done because of imagined voices you are hearing. You wait until you feel absolutely horrible about yourself and you let that 'inspire' (yank, shove) you to make changes. You do what you do because you ought to and you should, and because you'll feel guilty if you do or guilty if you don't, instead of simply, because God thinks/doesn't think it's a good idea.

The challenge remains just that--a challenge--and not a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Problem.

And well, this time, I'll be losing this winter weight, slowly, simply because God thinks it's a good idea and I agree with Him. In fact, all-around, life on this side of The Land of Guilt is usually that simple.

Unless, of course, I choose to complicate it.

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