Wednesday, March 22, 2006

King of Queens: Marriage Therapy?


Okay, I confess... Tom and I often watch the show, King of Queens. In fact, Tom has been known to smile at me from his recliner and say, "Doug is my hero."

A scarey thought, that one.

Probably my favorite scenes of King of Queens are the ones where Doug and Carrie argue. Why? Because lots of their fights sound awfully familiar. I watch them wildly argue about nonsensical, childish things and right there on the screen, the folly and utter stupidity of it all hits me. It makes me giggle. Their fights are like mirrors, reminding me of the hundreds of such loopy arguments Tom and I have had, ourselves.

Tom and I love Doug and Carrie because they show us what not to do and how not to be. They have helped us grow-up. They've illustrated to us that self-absorption requires a whole lot of energy which could've been used for the good stuff, like going for drives, eating-out, sitting at the edge of lakes and having what one might call a good time. Always trying to get one's own way at the other person's expense, well, it makes Life's Roads awfully rocky, indeed.

Basically, watching Doug and Carrie makes the folly of pride just so darn crystal clear.

Tom was 21 when we married and I was just 19. I always find it so sad when people who have been married 15 or 20 years divorce, sighting the reason as being, "We married too young." I always wonder, instead, truth be told, if it's more like, "We married young, and then we took too many years to grow-up afterward."

And maybe when Tom and I watch certain King of Queen reruns, laughing until we cry during Doug's and Carrie's fights, we are really laughing at our own arguments of long ago. The ones we never have (or nearly never have) now because, having grown in years and in wisdom, we find they are just not worth the trouble anymore. (Not that they ever were.)

We've found that peace between us, as a couple, is a whole lot more fun... and in little, silly, you-had-to-be-there ways, we have Doug and Carrie to thank for some of that.


***
"When you are older you will know that life is a long lesson in humility." ... James M. Barrie

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