Sunday, May 22, 2005
The Dance Lessons
Yesterday, Teresa's comments to my last post reminded me of something (thanks, Teresa!)
They reminded me that eleven years ago I finally came away with God after He asked me to. He'd been asking me for years on quiet afternoons to leave worldly things alone and just sit with Him, but always I was too busy, distracted or scared of what people might say if I acted like the semi-hermit I would have to be to do what God was asking.
But finally, when I sensed He might not always be asking this thing, I came away with Him. I had no idea how long this was going to last-- He gave me no hints-- but those long hours alone with God in my room lasted two years.
The only way I can describe those hours is that they were like dance lessons. All those previous years He'd been wanting to get me alone so that He could teach me to dance the Life Waltz with Him.
Yet before we could begin, I had to put down bags of heavy toys which I always seemed to be carrying around like a child.
But when you're beginning dance lessons, you're starting to grow-up. There's no room between your dance partner and you for Things and Stuff and Distractions.
God asked me to pack away all my toys and at that time, I thought He meant forever.
That was the chance I was taking--letting go of certain books, dreams, movies, ideas, tv shows, hobbies and friends--forever. There were still some afternoons I'd peek out the window at all the costumed crowds outside who laughed and partied just as they wanted--and I would stumble and miss more steps until He'd touch my cheek with His finger and turn my eyes back to His.
And after those years, after many missteps, I learned to dance with Him. He finally knew He could trust my heart to no longer be devoted to Things.
I'd fallen in love with Him.
He even allowed me back into the toy box. Amazingly, all the toys had been refurbished and made new! That was part of God's reward for coming away--for giving-up the What Will People Think and all the mindless doings of My Own Will. Now that He could trust me to play with these toys and not get carried away by their shininess, He was free to return them to me.
The biggest change? He was finally on my mind all the time. So even while I was painting, reading, watching movies (toy-playing), I still thought about Him. Amazingly, I often felt even closer to Him during those times than during my closet times with Him.
He'd taught me the Life Waltz and He said that as long as I let Him lead the dance, my days would flow like music.
And they do. But only when I match my steps to His.
"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." ... Isaiah 43:19
"...let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience..." Hebrews 10:22