Long Ago Lesson

So there I was, age 16, pathetically shy, and still the new kid in my girls' p.e. class at school and what does our teacher say? "When we get back on Monday we'll start folk dancing for the next three weeks."

There, sitting on the gym floor, I told myself, "Oh no. Not folk dancing! I am so uncoordinated when it comes to dancing. I'll have to practice every night at home alone so that I won't look like an idiot here with all these graceful girls. Man. This is unfair."

And that's when I had an epiphany. Well, of sorts. Suddenly, while still there on the floor, I 'heard' these words, "How do you know you won't be any good at folk dancing? Have you ever tried it before? You might even be great at it."

Wow. It was as though someone had shaken me a little and told me to wake-up. To stop telling myself I'd fail at something before even trying it. And it made me smile. 

I asked myself, "Why do I, when given a new challenge, automatically tell myself I'll be horrible at it?"

And guess what? Whereas I'd especially dreaded p.e. that year because I'd enrolled late to this school and had had a hard time fitting in, well, I loved folk-dancing. Finally, gym class wasn't Torture Of The Day.

Then came time to be tested and we were each placed into groups of three girls, circled by everyone else around us. And you know? The other two girls in my group lost their places in the dance, just stood beside me, but I danced on. And I remember afterward my friend, Tara, told me she'd been proud of me for having kept dancing, even though it must have felt awkward to dance alone (it did).

Decades later this lesson returns when I automatically say things like, "No, I could never learn to do that on the computer," or, "This digital camera is too difficult to use for a brain like mine," or, "You can't teach this old dog those new tricks," etc.

If I believe I cannot do something, most likely I won't be able to.

Sometimes you have to give yourself a break. You must blast through any wall designed to keep you mired inside your boring, fearful rut. 

And mostly, you just have to rely more on God's ability than your own.



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"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." ... Philippians 4:13

"...fear has torment..." 1 John 4:18


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