Oh for Pete's sake.
Gah. Gah. Gah. &^*^%$^$(*
So yesterday was lovely. The sun shone and we opened the windows for fresh air and we didn't need to use the heater even once and I sat out on the sunny porch and read Gladys Taber and peeked at the glowing river down the street and felt that all --mostly all--was right with my world.
The only problem (besides the financial and insurance ones which God keeps reminding me to just trust Him on) was that Daniel the Cat was only nibbling at his food. I even went to the store to buy a kind he'd liked before. He ate part of it, but otherwise, seemed ok.
Then came this morning.
Daniel growled and hissed at us from across the room. Snapped at us if we touched him. Coughed like he had a hairball, but differently. Pitifully meowed and then suddenly began limping.
Oh my goodness. Within 24 hours our new cat fell apart.
And you know how it is--at 5:00 in the dark, dark morning light everything looks worse, especially when you discover that your new veterinarian takes Wednesdays off (of course). And it is sooo hard not to worry, even after you've been in the Stop Worrying Class of God College for decades (because you can't get consistent good grades.) Sigh.
So ok, I worried. Prayed, told myself not to worry, then worried. Watched Joyce Meyer, then worried some more. Went back to bed and thought, "This is all just too hard and too reminiscent of losing our two cats last year at this time." But then I remembered something Joyce Meyer says--- "We are anointed for the hard things. God gives us the strength to face anything we must face."
Whew. That certainly helped.
Well, we had to go back to the vet who I said I'd never return to, the one who had to put down both Lennon and McCartney--I just didn't want to return to that place--but we didn't have a choice. So a couple hours after we left Daniel there (we got coffee then sat at the nearby park in the sunshine.... oh, I'm so thankful for the light!) we returned to the office and turns out that--during Sammy and Daniel's one moment of unsupervised time together (when we'd been so careful to keep them apart for 2 weeks)--Sammy bit Daniel in the leg and it became one big, dangerous, infected internal mess. And without antibiotics, Daniel could have lost his leg or his life.
Allow me just one more (*&^%$*& and Good Grief!
Okay. Moving on...
So many lessons, so little time. Lately we've had all these huge bills just as we're entering a time with no income and truly! God is staring at my heart and watching its reactions. Will I panic? Or will I trust? Will I worry and scheme and try figuring-out things only God knows? Or will I remain calm and obey Him one step at a time?
Well, stay tuned. Most likely Tom and I will have to dip into our retirement account before Financial Phase 2 kicks in and I so do not want to be like the elderly people I mentioned here who refuse to use an air-conditioner because it costs a lot, only to be found dead of heat stroke on their bed. Instead, my desire is to do my part, then trust God to do what I cannot--and to live inside that balance, always remembering God cares for me like a good Father who provides basic necessities lovingly, happily.
And right on time, especially when worry isn't there to hinder all my prayers.
A good note--Daniel is eating again and seems better already! And too, he came with insurance from the shelter for a month, so hopefully this little escapade to the vet's will be reimbursed. At least, most of it.
And at least we did get out of the house and sat at a park and read and drank coffee and munched on something like in the old days before we moved to Hobbit Cottage. We really do need to get out more, though I prefer a happier occasion!
"You will remember all the way the Lord your God led you in the desert these forty years, to humble you, and how He tested you to know what was in your heart to see if you would keep His commandments or not." Deuteronomy 8:2
"Whatever is not of faith, is sin." ... Romans 14:23