I so appreciated Pat's post yesterday, one called Tired of Being Tired.
It was timely for me, because--as soon as the warm, kinda-humid weather sailed in this week--I became reacquainted with that ol', "It's 2:00 in the afternoon and I feel drained" feeling. You know, when you do ten minutes' worth of sunny, outdoor work and then must spend 30 minutes (or more) inside resting-up from it.
And during those times I'd recall when I was in my mid-30's in our other suburb house. How I'd get Tom off to work in the mornings and then I'd get dressed, feed the cats, eat breakfast, wash dishes, dust, paint two walls of a room, clean-up the paint supplies, mow the lawn, put in a load of laundry, clean out the refrigerator and then stop for lunch at noon. heh.
Ah, those were the days! But you know? This 53-year-old woman has had to accept that those days are gone forever. Well, this side of Heaven, anyway. I simply cannot work like that anymore--and I'm in good health, even! Ok, ok, adequate health. (If I'd always obey God when He convicts me to exercise and eat better, I'd feel better than I already usually do. Gulp.)
But it's my stamina, I'm finding, which has changed most. I just can't seem to work as steadily, as long, as I used to. I must take many breaks in order to keep going and you know? A couple years ago I realized I just had to accept that fact, and accept that--actually--it's the new wisdom for me. It is wisdom that, as a woman who's lived for more than half of a century (!), I need to accept a lifestyle of pauses.
Pause: a temporary rest, an intermission of action, a stop in order to consider, to reflect.
Oh! When you put it that way, pauses sound lovely. I usually associate the word, 'intermission' with movies and how good it sounds to take an intermission during my own life's film. To consider my actions (are they the best and wisest ones? Am I expecting more from myself than even God is?) and to reflect upon all my blessings, the sweetness of God and the abilities I still have in my 50's. The strength God still gives me and the tasks He honors me with during this decade of my life--all good things to meditate upon.
But in order to see beauty in these pauses, it has required new eyes of acceptance. Acceptance that I've stepped into a different season. And contentment with where I am today (and what I can still accomplish) along with hope and assurance that tomorrow will be a good day, also, with God, especially if I live the day in joy, for that joy is my strength. Physical, emotional, mental and otherwise.
So I'm no longer 35, but the reverse, 53... oh well! As long as I keep desiring God every moment (this is how I stay close to him 24/7: I refuse to live without Him for even 60 seconds)---all will be well. He will make it so, will complete what I cannot, as I move into these later years where--truly--I must learn to receive more and more of His strength, not mine.
And that's not such a bad way to live at all. It's actually rather marvelous, this becoming less so that He can become more.
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." ... Philippians 4:8
My favorite place to pause? On my own front porch where I gaze down at the shining river and watch seagulls circle lazily in the quiet afternoon sky.