Friday, December 30, 2011

Changes. Always There Are Changes.

" She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."  ... Proverbs 31:12


So. While Tom worked a few decades and I did the faithful little homemaker thing, I pretty much waited on him hand and foot (as they say). A real Proverbs 31 woman, that was me.

He'd drive home after working the usual 12-hour shift to a very-straightened, kinda-mostly-clean house and to me, the woman in the kitchen standing near the stove who'd tried (usually) to make herself presentable. Then he'd collapse in his recliner (during these later years), switch on the tv and I'd bring his dinner to him. Usually I'd have eaten earlier (again during these later years), but I'd sit beside him and we'd talk and watch tv together.

When he'd finish dinner I'd take his dishes to the kitchen for him and place them in the dishwasher where they'd wait until I washed them the next day by hand (my preferred way). Then later he'd change into his pajamas (which I'd washed for him) and get into the bed I'd made for him earlier that morning.

And so it would go.

Well. After Tom lost his job I noticed that hey! He sure was spending a whole lot of time sitting in that recliner, whereas I sure was spending lots of time still waiting on him hand and foot. It actually took me a few months (I am so slow) to ask myself, "What is wrong with this picture?"

What was wrong was that no longer was Tom working 12 hour shifts and --if we didn't make some changes--Tom would become one of those people who (gross alert)......... actually become stuck to and part of a recliner! (Ew. I know.)

What I've discovered is that there are lots of ways a Proverbs 31 woman can "do her husband good, not harm, all the days of her life." And letting him sit and do nothing is not good.

So over the past few months, there've been a few changes made around here. Tom learned to cook some new dishes and sometimes he makes lunch for us (our main meal). He also gets his own breakfast most of the time (unless I make something special for us). He makes his own bed, sometimes folds his own clothes and puts them away, feeds the birds, places his dishes in the dishwasher (or sometimes washes them by hand), and helps with small projects around the house.

Ok, not earth-shattering stuff, but still, huge changes for us.

Changes! This growing older stuff brings with it many life changes and we are wise if we adapt in a timely manner. Tom and I no longer have the life we had as kids of 30 so why act like we do? So it behooves us to accept these changes--like good sports--and with much help from Grace. 


The top photo? I reupholstered the seat yesterday.

Oh, and here's one of my favorite things which I've ever made (eons ago). There was one tiny nail in the 80-year-old chimney up here in Debra's World just waiting for this hook which comes in ever so handy for my nightgown and robe:

I bought the hook at Dollar Tree. I should have bought more. Sigh. Live and learn.


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"You have not because you ask not..." ... James 4:2



jodi said...

Have you seen the tv show Kingdom? We've been watching it on Netflix and I thought of you and that you might like it.

Anonymous said...

Heh...been wondering about this subject...glad yours is solved. Actually another reason it is good for a retired man to learn to do some things is we never know who will outlive the other, or who will become incapable of doing what they always did. Our dads had some things to learn when our moms went first. Never know...

I suppose maybe it would be good in some areas too, that the wife learn some things hubby takes care of...just in case. I don't know a thing about doing taxes for instance and he deals with insurance etc. I have had mine begin a notebook with all the information I might need someday. Just seemed prudent.
Elizabeth in NC (Soon to be retiree's wife)

Elizabeth said...

We have made some of those changes also Debra. Jim now does the dishes after each meal and helps with the laundry.

Anonymous said...

Yes they retire but our job never retires! :) It actually expands as they are now home 25/7!! Yikes!!! :) :) :) Some men still do what they used to do at home...the outside jobs that need done like the lawn. It needs done though at the Most once a week! :) Sarah