I've been thinking since my last post that, personally, I don't have too much advice for widows.

I think any advice I have would be more for potential pre-widows. You know, for those of us who have been married, like, forever.

And here is my advice: Right now, today--if you haven't already--make a creative, honest life for yourself separate from your husband. Something all your own. Or even lots of things all your own.

And most of all, know God on your own. Form a close, just-Him-and-me relationship which is present inside you, beside you, even when no one else is there.

I can't even imagine the loss of a spouse, but I do imagine that, after and during healing, being able to return to this world you've walked in for years would be a comfort. Something to do and be and hold onto--not with reminders of your spouse at every turn--but with memories of times spent with God and friends or hobbies, persons, places and things. Something which reminds you that, yes! You are still necessary valued and loved.

I shared 29 ideas here, mostly aimed at empty-nesters, but the kinds of activities and callings I'm speaking of. Life is full of dimensions--you know, layers of who we are and what we are called to do. And there are always people who need help. But where Life gets scary is when we see only one dimension, one layer, and help only those inside the four walls of our home. You know, those who have been known to fly the 'home coop', one way or another.

But there will always be a hurting world outside those walls.

So for us potential pre-widows (or pre-widowers) I would fling out reminders to sow, sow, sow. Now--today. Sow help. Sow peace. Sow kindness. Sow mercy. Sow education, knowledge and wisdom.

It's only sowers who reap good things... even if they are sowing seeds years and years early... and even if they are sowing seeds alone.