The Mornings After You Die

Silly me, I think I forgot to tell you that I'm dying--

--to Self, that is. A slow, lingering death, actually.

Yep, I've been dying since 1994, the year I finally began allowing God to kill/burn whole trash piles inside me. You know, those ugly, lopsided stacks of believing I know best and speaking without thinking first. Of being the grandest procrastinator upon Earth and laziness, fearfulness, shyness, rebellion, discontentment and unforgiveness. 

You know, all that stuff which holds us down (and back) and makes God look bad if we're going around telling everyone we represent Him.

But oh, the mornings after you die! It's as though you awaken in Heaven on Earth and this world appears more God-made than concocted by man. Almost as though you've got this Garden of Eden thing going in the middle of a war zone.

You have time to gaze up at the sky and it appears bluer and there are more trees around than you remember. Your husband has become the best man on Earth and it's as though you glimpse your children's very hearts and see--not the mischief they do--but their good intentions, instead.

You no longer care about fame, wanting everyone to know your name. You feel tipsy with Gratitude and gladly content with your house, your job and your possessions.

Train horns sound like trumpets and food tastes better and a steaming cup of coffee or tea appears grander than stumbling upon a chest of treasure.

And you have good days even on sunless, cloudy ones and you no longer need music before you can dance. And the best of everything is you realize with a joyful start, "As long as God is with me, I'll be fine." And never have you felt so free.

I believe it was Tozer who said, "It is never fun to die." And that is true.

But oh, those mornings after! They are worth every death pain, each good-bye to the fragile, up-and-down world your stubbornness had created.

Trust me, I know.


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This post came to mind while I reread David Grayson's Adventures In Contentment this morning. His books are remarkable, peace-lending, and I hope you have read them. My favorites are Adventures in Friendship, Adventures in Understanding and The Friendly Road.