Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Always Here, Always With The Right Words
It's early morning and I'm excited. Oh, not because there will be any party or country adventure or phone calls from old friends (well, not that I'm aware of)...
...nor do I have planned any neighborhood walks (too cold) or shopping trips (no car--Tom took it to work) or anything exciting arriving in the mail (well, perhaps a Valentine or two)...
No, it's a Normal Day and I love Normal Days--now. Years past, when I was what one might call young, I thought I needed more adventure, more appreciation, more fanfare, but what I really needed was more of God. More closeness, more times of listening, more awareness of His presence during even the most mundane tasks around my house (making them mundane no longer).
I remember that strong, strong need to feel appreciated and how it drove me to almost obsession. Well, forget the 'almost'--I was obsessed by trying to collect friends who would appreciate me... and by attempting to be special and talented in the eyes of people at church... and by trying to be the most excellent homemaker, wife and mother on the planet.
Well, it didn't work. I mean, the harder I tried to suck appreciation from people, the more desperate I felt. The more unappreciated I felt, actually.
Then God came along. I mean, I was already a Christian, but it was like He rose from a chair in some back room of my heart where I'd placed Him and He asked, "Have you had enough of doing things your way?" And well, I was so exhausted and empty and bummed-out from all my get-appreciation-schemes that I finally said, "Yes."
And only then did things begin to change... Only when I stopped looking to people to give me what only God could, did Life actually feel great on Normal Days. Why? Because God became my encourager--and He was always around my house. He never left on vacation to Hawaii or went camping or had company and couldn't spend time with me (like my friends did)... He never got exasperated with me (like my family did)... And always, even when I made mistakes, He still made me feel appreciated, loved and treasured... but only (I have noticed) when I wanted more to hear from Him than others... when my first move was--and is--toward Him.
And over time and years --although I still value encouragement from others-- the encouragement and friendship I value most (and need most) is that which comes from God... this Friend who knows exactly what I need, this Friend who never says, "I'm out of here," because He's upset or because He cannot fit me into His schedule.
So like I said, I'm excited about this Normal Day!
"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."