Monday, January 23, 2012

Remembering ... With Balance

This weekend I glanced over at my blogroll list and saw Coffee, Tea and Me's blog post title, Come Saturday Morning. I thought, oh! I remember that song from eons ago. So I zipped over to Youtube and listened to the song, one with some perfectly-chosen nature photos, too.

And wow. Suddenly it was 1975 and I stood behind the 16-year-old me gazing out the large window of my bedroom in the town of Morgan Hill, CA, feeling happy, hopeful and so very, very young. 

Magical, really, how those old songs can take you places like, isn't it?

And you know? While the Sandpipers sang their pretty lyrics, I watched that teenage me and--at first-- I saw only the terrific stuff about that time in her life. The church friends she loved with all her heart and the fun times at her high school and the instances her family was all on the same page. And the Saturday adventures of her own when she'd get up early, dress, make some toast then wrap it up, grab a sweater and take off for a walk in the Saturday morning silence.

But you realize, don't you, that you can fly backward like that and it can all appear way too good. Immensely out-of-balance, for no time in our lives was ever that perfect, not for long, extended months and years (no time in History, either.) Only, our minds can tell us it was sublime. Our minds, our memory, can lie to us like that. (They can also convince us times were worse than they were, as well.)

So you know what I did? I played the song again and I waited until Reality arrived in that bedroom with us. As in, I recalled the times my friends disappointed me and my feelings got hurt and the awkward, difficult times at school and the instances my family made me, well, downright so angry I considered running away.

And then I smiled. As always, I remembered my present life actually is pretty darn great and has the potential to become a hundred times greater. I listened to the song some more, with the right perspective, as in, I'm thankful for the wonderful memories I have from my childhood.... and just as thankful for the memories I'm making now.  And for the wisdom and maturity gained--the stronger, more lasting peace and contentment than I ever had at 16. Or 26 or 30, even.

Then later, I switched-off the song and, still smiling, slipped into bed where I had dreams mixing the good and fun from yesteryear with the good and fun from today. And awoke with gratitude for it all--past, present and future.


Come Saturday Morning... by The Sandpipers. Be forewarned--this recording just may whisk you away someplace, too. :)



Mary said...

Oh Wow! I sang that song in high school chorus in the early 80's! You are right that brought back a flood of memories. At 16 I was so sure I knew everything. I didn't know what I didn't know. Now, the more I learn, the more I am humbled by all I still need to learn. I can look back fondly on that 16 year old though. Thanks Debra.

Anonymous said...

Ah yes, I remember listening to this song on the radio!! 16 was not the greatest year, but 17 was, when hubby and I began to date and fell in love!! The funnest Fall and Early Winter ever. Thanks for the walk on memory lane.
Elizabeth in NC

Fawn Gilmore Kraut said...

Ah Debra. Thanks for the memories of the season when we knew each other. I'm afraid I was probably one of those friends who disappointed you. It took me too many years to learn what real friendship was all about. Thank God for lessons learned.

Looking back, I'm trying to imagine what life must have been like for you as the preacher's kid, in a new place, trying to build friendships in that little youth group with all our dramas.

I'm so glad we have both found our own way and our own voice after all these years.