Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Perhaps It Was Mostly The Feelings, After All

So Lucy Ricardo's grandmother made-up a word for when you're not really sick, but just feel lousy--dauncey. And well, that's how I felt yesterday. Just plain dauncey.

But today I feel incredible. How good to feel good again!

And speaking of feelings, you've probably noticed I'm not big on writing about elusive, come-and-go feelings, as in, letting them influence our decisions. I'm more into living according to what God and the Bible and Grace lead us to do. Going with something a lot more sure than a wispy feeling.

But this morning I'm going to veer from that just a tad, ok? Just. A. Tad.

See, I've watched Dr. Phil a few times (forgive me...heh...) and I've seen him counsel distraught/confused/depressed people that what they really crave is not the awful husband/boyfriend they once had or the wonder years their children were babies or the forever-lost friendships, relatives, houses or money.

No, he says what they're truly missing are the wonderful feelings they had during the good times with those people, places or things. They're missing how those special times made them feel.

And you know? There's so much hope in that concept. I mean, if you're new to this empty nest thing and are wishing your children were still young and adorable, well, uh, that's not gonna happen. Sorry, but children cannot 'un-age' (de-age?) like that. Yet! God can provide ways for you to again feel the happiness you remember feeling while interacting with young children. What remains is for you to ask God to help you discover them.

It's that holding onto the Past that trips us up like a long blanket dragging, getting caught between our feet. That if-it's-not-exactly-as-it-was-I-don't-want-it-ness of it all.

Lost the friends you used to go out to coffee with? Miss those hours of chatting around a table at that cute cafe? Ask God to provide new friends who would love to go to coffee with you. They're out there. But don't sit around at home just wishing they'd knock at your door. It's quite rare that this happens. It can (I've heard a couple neat stories), but more often the ol' 'you have not because you ask not' comes into play.

Miss that special house you once owned? Ask God to provide creative ideas so you can make your present house feel just as treasured. Pour yourself into your home and you will be rewarded.

Miss a relative now gone through death? Become to someone else what that relative became to you. Find someone to whom you can care for and help as your loved one cared for you. Become to others what you wish they would become to you.

Well, since I consider all my readers to be quite intelligent, I'm sure you get my point by now: Rather than spending our days mourning for what once was, we can ask God to help us create a whole new life of possibilities. One that may appear quite different than our earlier decades, but one perhaps more rich and rewarding than what we've experienced so far.

Hey, with God, just about anything is possible.




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The photo? I added that bit of stenciling over the painting last week.


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"Thou hast turned my mourning into dancing for me, thou hath put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness."   ... Psalm 30:11


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"We need more backbone, not wishbone."   ... Joyce Meyer


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2 comments:

Kristi in the Western Reserve said...

Not always easy to do, but always necessary! It doesn't mean we have to forget the past, but I'm sure God wants us to LIVE in the present, his gift to us right now, not to be ignored.

I love that stenciling. Blue and green are so wonderful together!

Elizabeth said...

Debra, A wonderful post! Just what I needed. It is so true and I am really learning that now. I was so afraid of this change but it has been wonderful so far