Tuesday, November 08, 2011
Being Reminded of The Differences
Amazing! Hours after writing that post yesterday God swooped by with a clear instruction: "A great 'stepping out of the boat idea' would be to become more excellent in those things you're certain I've already given you to do."
Well, that was an "ouch" but a good ouch and yes! He's so right. I'm certain He wants me to stay married (yessss!) so it would be quite nice if I'd stop nagging Tom and come up with ways to love and encourage him better. Trying harder to keep us healthy (and not be such a slacker at it) would be keen, also.
It's obvious that I'm supposed to be a homemaker so how about taking better care of my home? Becoming more attuned to details and finishing all those projects I've begun either in my head or in reality? And how about becoming more attuned to people's needs when I visit the supermarket? I have a deep desire for that, but it seems to fade in the midst of squinting at ingredient panels and doing market math inside my head. sigh.
And since God instructed us all in the Bible to practice hospitality, how about nailing down some dinner or lunch dates for those friends we've discussed inviting over?
And what about all those emails I owe, ones just dangling unfinished or unstarted out in dark cyber space? Catching-up on those, spreading more encouragement, would certainly be excellent.
And whatever happened to my earning money by way of online surveys? True, I needed a vacation in all the craziness of moving, but why haven't I finished what I began with those?
And how about improving this blog? Now, that would be a Good Thing-- pouring more excellence into this responsibility I'm certain He gave me.
Hmmm. Sometimes God doesn't make sense to my limited mind, but oh my! Other times He makes so much sense that my brain nearly explodes.
And I do thank you for your suggestions of volunteer work. I think of that a lot. Truly. But I also think of this: I have a real, honest fear of just grabbing at a thing. Of just picking something because I need a 'time killer' or something to do and then hoping it will work out. And then, afterward, getting mired down within something uncomfortable, all wrong, and having to bail out, quit, because I never should have signed-up at all. Been there, done that.
What I prefer? Hearing God say, "Go here. Commit there. Go now." Oh, I love that because I will thrive where He sends me. It won't turn into a mess, won't be the type of burden I want to shake off, but rather, it will be doable, a blessing to all involved. And (this will sound tiny, but it's huge) details like our having just one car won't interfere and cause friction between Tom and me, he with his scattered-and-never-the-same-days doctor appointments that I must always work around.
I believe there is God's perfect will and His permissive will and you know how I view the difference? It's rather like watching a top-quality movie with the most talented stars and a keep-you-guessing plot and then, afterward, seeing a grade-B movie with a tiny budget, stars who just miss being believable and a script that was written in an hour. One is satisfying and stays with you for days, the other, well, you go out for pie and coffee and forget all about it.
Another example of God's permissive will is like the time Tom and Debra bought a farm. :)
But you know? That experience has made me a good kind of "gun shy." Now when I hear myself exclaiming, "Oh! I would love to have a ________! (fill in the blank), I pause. Get quiet. And tell myself to just wait and see how I feel about it in the morning.
I think they call that wisdom by experience.
Personally, now I wish to aim only for God's perfect will, giving it all the excellence that I can. And finding myself in some very, very good places.
"To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams." I Samuel 15:22