Tuesday, August 05, 2008
I almost drove into the city to shop yesterday, had quite a rambling list, but I changed my mind. The city doesn't entice me as it once did, rather, it repels me.
Yet we needed groceries! So while Tom slept after working the night shift, I drove to the nearest small town with a supermarket. They even have a brand new "dime store" (as I prefer to still call them even though nothing costs a dime any longer), which I'd wanted to visit.
Who needs the city? Who needs all that traffic and noise and hurry-hurry? Well, not me... not yesterday, anyway. The dime store was light-filled, colorful and I overheard a cute little old lady tell her cute little old husband, "This store will be nice for picking up small things. It's clean and so close!"
Just what I was thinking. Living out among miles and acres of corn and hay fields you become a bit giddy over things like new shops.
But across the street was the supermarket and it was old, old, old... and I loved that, too. Tiny aisles, a tad dark, boxes in the way, high prices and that smell of ancient markets. Ah, just right. And only a few miles away through the aforementioned corn fields and not a traffic jam anywhere.
Years ago I would have needed more. More stores, more cute shops for browsing, more restaurants, more choices. But now? Now this countryside has enchanted me and I am no longer the woman I used to be. Just give me this peace and the crickets and the birds at the feeders. And our one-traffic-light town. And that other tiny village a few miles away with the old supermarket and new dime store--they're enough--now.
So what am I trying to say? I know women who become afraid when they see themselves changing, becoming someone who--back when they were 22--they would have, well, laughed at. Looked down upon, even. And yet there is no growth without change (I tell myself at least twice a week).
The only problem is--growth doesn't always look like growth to us. Especially when it concerns ourselves who we don't always know as well as we believe we do. Hence, it becomes important to stay close to God so He can explain just what the heck is happening to us.
I mean, at 22 we are so, well, young. We've not peeked into our future with all its circumstances down the path and--mostly--we're still running the ol' wisdom needle pretty close to empty.
But God views and understands nearly everything differently than the whole rest of the world, so what remains is for us to stay in tune with Him for all the necessary explanations... even when it concerns our very own heads and hearts... and those annoying crows feet around our eyes.