Monday, August 01, 2011

Real Confessions

I've been hiding a dark secret from you. (Uh-oh!)

Remember when my big garden used to look like this each summer?

Well, now it looks like this;

Sad, I know.  And yes, I'm so embarrassed to show that to you!

And yet.... that is what happens when you become so overwhelmed that you don't even want to look at a tomato plant, let alone grow one.

And I am that overwhelmed. That burned-out from trying to do more than God called me to do.

But there's something good in all this.  I know myself so much better now. And knowing oneself keeps oneself from taking on more than she can handle. Keeps her from saying, "I wish I had a ______," ten times a day.

From now on, my wishes will be few. Wiser too. I'll be more content because I lived-out my farm fantasies--and in doing so--discovered a fantasy need not be lived over and over and over. Rather, long-held fantasies can be lived once (say, over a weekend), appreciated, savored, then traded-in for that which is real.

Being and living in realness is just as delightful as living-out the occasional fantasy, especially when your real is the realness God created for you. We need not own a farm (or a boat, a lovely house or a horse) in order to appreciate it and dreams are lovely, but some dreams are loveliest when they remain inside our heads. These are truths I've discovered and they're what I'll take away with me when we drive away from this old farm for the last time.


We need not own a thing in order for it to belong to us.



Phil said...

It's okay, Debra. We all have something like that garden. I have closets like that, photographs from five years back that aren't organized, blah, blah, blah. It's normal!

Bonnie, wife of Phil

Judy said...

Ohhhhh Debraaaaa.
That's my craft room...

Mary said...

Ha! My garden too has gotten away from me since my daughter has been sick this summer, and guess what? I have gotten more tomatoes than I ever had before! My theory is the squirrels can't find them in all the weeds! We may be on to something here. Gardening by neglect!

Anonymous said...

Life is for learning...
Besides, this year with its very bad might have kept it all perfect and not gotten much of anything for your efforts anyway. Or, now that you are moving...all that was produced might have gone to the new owners eh? Tis ok...
Happy moving! Elizabeth

Anonymous said...

I smile when I read your post and looked at your pictures because I have just bought a property with a few acres and the lawn is immaculate and I intend to let a big part of it grow wild. I am moving this month and the important thing for me is to just enjoy doing a bit of gardening, plant a few shrubs here and there and enjoy it. The last thing on my mind is to stress out about the 'look' of it. This is why I bought in a rural area.


Debi said...

"...burned-out from trying to do more than God called me to do..."

hmmmmmmm.....thanks for the word...I'll be thinking about that for a while!