Sunday, October 21, 2007



My family can really use your prayers right now.

My sister called a few minutes ago, and well, my dad passed away this morning.

It was sudden... his lungs had filled with fluid (they think now it was pneumonia and his weakened heart couldn't handle it)... the ambulance came, worked over him, but were unable to help.

The doctors had said he had at least three months left... Immediately, we made our plans to fly out there upon hearing that news. In fact, my parents even wished we could come a few days later than when we're planning to come since my brother had planned to arrive after the 1st of November. So we could all be together as a family. But they understood that life doesn't always line up like that and were fine with the fact we were arriving on this Thursday.

My sister lives in their town and she even emailed me last night and there was no sense of urgency in her words. And so often in the past, I've even sensed when my parents were simply going to call me. I've known ahead things like that concerning them. But today there was none of that. This is a shock, all around, even for my mom who constantly cared for my dad (he'd been improving lately). Tom said maybe it was a sign it was just my dad's time... and God wanted him home... to spare him from the darker side of Parkinson's.

Mostly, besides being sad and shocked, I am so upset with doctors right now. How they couldn't even accurately diagnose how long my dad had left and too often, they couldn't even decide what was currently wrong with him. They had my dad on so many medications over the years, med's which only caused more problems, which then required more med's. And for years my dad was in pain, even sometimes praying to die and go to Heaven.

It's been so hard knowing how to pray for someone who is praying to die.

My dad was a Baptist minister for many years. And do you know what his favorite verse has always, always been? It's the one which says, "Eye has not seen, nor has ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of man what God has prepared for those who love Him."

And now, during his first hours in Heaven--he sees... he hears... he knows what is kept from all of us until we cross over into that place God has prepared. And I'm positive it's all beyond what he ever imagined.

My dad's sister, my Aunt Marian, went to that place only ten months ago. I told you about her here and here. And I described to you how I could almost see my grandparents, my Aunt Marion and my Uncle Ray at an outdoor table in bright light sitting, drinking amazing coffee and laughing. Well, just now I realize all along there's been an empty chair at that table, one ready, waiting for my dad.

And now I see him there, too.

26 comments:

Jennifer said...

Debra, I'm so sorry, and of course, will be praying for you and your family. Please be good to yourself while you're there supporting your mom and others.

donna said...

We mourn with you, Debra and Tom
My father also experienced the torment of parkinsons and I understand the shock. Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. Donna and John

Hilmarose said...

I am praying for you... I know the pain all too well... the comfort does come if we let it... but grieve the lose (it IS normal!!! we are NOT told NOT to grieve.. just not to grieve AS THOSE WHO HAVE NO HOPE) and celebrate his life... he is now home and someday you WILL be home with him.

Jammie J. said...

I'm so sorry for your loss and the sudden shock of it. It's never easy saying goodbye, and it's even harder (I think), when you don't have that chance... (hugs)

Anonymous said...

I am very sorry. I lost my dad two years ago to lung cancer.

Becky said...

Abba,

Please give Debra and Tom and all of the other family members the grace to fully mourn and grieve for the loss of their family member. Your arms are massive Abba....your shoulders are broad...collect their tears and cry with them.

Donetta said...

Dear Debra, My mother was in hospice and waited for us all to leave so she could just go on. She needed us to let her go. It is a very hard thing to let go.
I am often comforted with the passage that says.
Those who have gone on before us stand at the right hand of God interceding for us both day and night.
I often think of them praying for us.
May you have comfort in your time of grief. Trust the process and the stages you are about to enter into to. Healing does come in the morning.
Donetta

Elizabeth said...

Oh Debra, I am so sorry...the ones that go unexpectedly are pretty hard to deal with!! Been there. I hope knowing where he is and HOW he is now will comfort you in the days, weeks, and months ahead. I am very sorry you did not get to see him...but you did your best. And my dear...there is a reason they say doctors are practicing medicine...they are PRACTICING!! They are limited human beings. God must have wanted him now for some reason. But we are never ready to part from those we love. Do be careful to take whatever time you need to grieve. We all have to take those steps, one way or another...and don't feel bad about needing to do whatever it is you need to do!! Will be praying for you in the long path ahead of you now.

Susan said...

Debra,
What can I say but I am soooo sorry. I lost my mom just about 3 years ago to the day... and really do know how hard it can be. I know mom is SO happy in Heaven, just as your dad is. I love that song "Imagine" - that talks about what we will do when we finally see Jesus face to face. You and your family are in my prayers. Big hugs.

Tara said...

I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

My deepest sympathy to you and your family Debra. I do and will continue to pray for all of you.

Celebrate your father's life!

God bless you, Wilma

Willa said...

Oh, Debra, I am so sorry that this has happened. I know that we are never truly ready to let a loved one go - but it is great that you know he will be in heaven. Thanks be to the Lord.

I am almost there with my own father. I think I wrote you once that my dad has inoperable aneursyms and COPD. He is in the last stages of his disease. One day he is very weak and the next day he gets around. Yesterday, my mom was helping him get about the house. So sad to see and I know the time is coming soon for our grief too.

God Bless you as you grieve. It will be good for the family to be together even now to support each other at this time.

Willa

Storybook Woods said...

I am so sorry Debra, for your fathers passing and that you were not pre-pared. I am praying for you and your family. Love Clarice

Laura said...

Debra,

I've been thinking of you all day today and could not shake the thoughts as they came on and off. I had no idea until tonight what happened to your world today. I know God put you on my heart today - and there you will stay - and in my prayers. As you travel, grieve, comfort your mother and spend time in His grace.

Laura

Rodney Olsen said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you today.

Deborah Raney said...

My heart aches for you, Debra. I'm so sorry to hear your news. May God wrap His arms around you and comfort you and your family. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers in the days to come. You are a blessing to so many.

Kristi from the maud list said...

Dear Debra, You and Tom and all your family are in my heart and my prayers. I know this is a terribly hard time for you all, but I can see God's mercy for your Dad and all his family too. I think that doctors try to do their best, but don't know nearly enough. I am so sorry your father had to suffer so long, and all you with him. And I am sure he is with his loved ones and his Lord now.
Love, Kristi

daisymarie said...

You and your family are certainly in my prayers. I'm terribly sorry for your loss, but rejoice with you in heaven's gain!

Robin said...

So very sorry about your dad. My prayers are with you.

Laurie said...

Oh Debra, how terribly sad this news is. I will certainly pray for you and your family. *hugs*

Charity Grace said...

I'm very sorry Debra. (((hug)))

LindaT, Fresno, CA said...

Debra,
Thoughts and prayers are with you. Don't be afraid of the tears that come when you least expect them. After my mom died (last Christmas Day) I came across two books, "Tear Soup" and "The Next Place," which were very comforting. May the God of all comfort hold you in loving arms, just as your father was welcomed into loving arms yesterday.

Linda from the maud list

Anonymous said...

Hi Debra
I'm very sorry for hearing the news of your Dad. But as you know that only God knows how long we are to be here on this earth.
With love,
Cheryl (Brock) Dawn
GWDawn30@sbcglobal.net

Anonymous said...

i share in your sorrow ... and also in the unexplainable peace & joy when you think that your dad is with Jesus and all those others who have gone ahead ...

may you find that a comforting thoughts through these next days ... in Him, saija

violet said...

Oh no. Will be praying for you as you travel the road ahead.

Judy said...

Oh, Debra.

I am SO sorry.