Tuesday, August 18, 2009

More people can identify with us when we're being honest.

I heard a wife say this while being interviewed upon her 70th wedding anniversary: "I've never told my husband what to do. I believe he can make all his own decisions" (And her husband nodded in agreement to both her statements.) 

Come on. Never told him what to do? Never in 70 years? Isn't there some selective memory stuff going on here? And also again, those kinds of statements make the rest of us feel like we belong to the WWWC, the World's Worst Wives Club.

There is no crime in admitting you sometimes make your husband crazy. Actually? I believe the greater crime is in allowing others to believe you always do everything absolutely right and your home is constantly one amazing, blissful string of heavenly days.

True, we should aim for something like that and allow God to change us and mold us daily, but if we're not there yet, is it ok to let others think we've already arrived?

I think you already know my answer.


"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." ... John 3:32

And the truth about ourselves just might help to set other free. 

While I'm still in a rather cranky mood, I'll share a pet peeve. (I hope you brought your sense of humor over here with you. You might need it, depending upon where you are on this issue.)

I roll my eyes and think not-so-nice thoughts when I hear people say things like these:

"She was a woman who never, ever complained." 

I mean, seriously. Never? Never ever? 

Those kinds of statements make the rest of us normal people feel awful. Wouldn't a more valid and correct statement be, "I don't remember ever hearing her complain?" (Though I find even that would be a stretch for most human beings.)

Or speaking of a departed spouse: "We had 50 blissful years together."

 Really? All 50 years were blissful? I've got what I think is one of the best marriages around and even I would never say all 30 of them were blissful. Besides, saying those sorts of things tends to alienate just about every person you've ever met. 

Being real, generally, is more likely to help set other people free, too. Hey, you never know.



Thickethouse.wordpress said...

It's a little foolish, maybe, for people to say such things, but it's foolishness in the right direction! They could be saying, "she always complained," or, "we had 50 years of hell"!

I think any statement that says something was ALWAYS such and such, no exceptions, must be wrong! Why do people say such things? Sloppy thinking? denial? deceit? insecurity? Not sure, but since I know it isn't so, it doesn't bother me too much....

Somehow, a saying I've heard about the person who always thinks the choice is between perfection and nothing will always have nothing is coming to my mind here. And my mind is a bit fuzzy at this moment and I can't think of what the connection is, Debra! I think it's because I just watched G-Force with my daughter and 4 year old grandson! I think I have to go take a nap now!

Anonymous said...

I laughed when I read this! You stated it perfectly! Another annoying thing are those Christmas newsletters about everything being so perfect the past year. If they wrote the bad things that happened too, they would be embarrassed to send it! Thanks for a good laugh, Kathy in Illinois

Pat said...

I'm laughing and nodding my head "yes" at the same time! I've been married for 43 years and I can tell you...they were not all bliss!! This profession of perfection makes me uncomfortable and makes me fee like stiffling my own honesty!

Donetta said...

:) how true and funny too.

I always laugh... wink wink say no more...

Lisa in Texas = ) said...

You are absolutely right about this one. I feel the same way you do about those kinds of statements. I am more REAL than that and I like people that are real as well.
Thanks for sharing,

Lisa in Texas = )