Wednesday, April 06, 2011

The Teachers Amongst Us

So yesterday Tom left for a haircut in a nearby town and I, all excited to have some Suzy Homemaker Time, put in my Susan Boyle cd, got my ironing board out of the bedroom closet and pulled some wrinkled shirts from the cupboard where I keep them.

And then while I waited for the iron to warm up, Naomi prepared a salad in the kitchen and began sharing some of her conspiracy theories with me (again), Big Brother is Watching You stuff, and after awhile I told her, "Aww, Honey. Don't worry, just be happy."

To which she replied, "Huh! You worry all the time! You always seem stressed-out."

Oh wow. Direct hit. Bam!

Of course, I gave her The List, you know, my Extreme Life Changes around this place since August 31st when Tom was laid-off. I told her I'd experienced some extra-hard times, had had to learn to live a whole other way, but now I'd accepted much and was peaceful again. But she'd finished making her salad and was halfway up the stairs by the time I'd finished my justifications.

And then my Suzy Homemaker time became not a delight, but a struggle, and I walked around limping inside my spirit. I ironed and felt sad that my daughter sees me as a worrier. Gah. And with me believing so strongly that what we are at home is, well, what we truly are! I felt bad, too, for you. That maybe after all I'm not being truthful in this blog, meaning you might be reading half-truths here.

Eegads! Isn't it wild how we can believe ourselves to be one way yet give us a few words otherwise and we doubt ourselves like crazy? At those times I consider running, escaping into myself, actually, and hiding away from a world with the potential to hurt me.

Of course, I don't worry all the time--that was an exaggeration. I know that. When Tom arrived home I asked him if he sees me as a 24/7 worrier and he said no. But still, Naomi's words stung, even after I went to God and asked if He thought I worried too much. His opinion, after all, counts the most.

Yet will I, in justification or retaliation, give you a list of Naomi's faults? Will I criticize her, expose where she's not perfect so to bring myself back up to a certain angelic level?

Of course not. That is so not the answer.

No, the answer is to see all people in our lives as teachers, those who stretch us beyond our sorry selves. those who give us gifts of humility by reminding us that, no, we are not perfect. And to see them as iron, also--you know, iron sharpening iron (as the Bible says). For God does use other people to sharpen us, to show us where we've missed the mark, to bring us into humility and to keep us oh so close to God and relying up Him to change us rather than relying upon ourselves.

Teachers--they are everywhere! They especially enjoy living in our neighborhoods and even inside own homes, too. :)


Ha! I told God yesterday and even this morning that I refused to write about this! No. No way. Unh-unh. The sting of remembrance was yet tender, I said. His reply was something like, "That's fine, but if you want Me to write a post through you, well, you'll need to change your mind. This is exactly what I want to write through you today."

Don't you hate it when that happens? :)


Thanks for your book recommendations yesterday! I will definitely look all those up at our town library soon. Here's what I finally ordered:

Trish by Margaret Maze Craig (thanks again, Judy F.!)

The Cat, The Quilt and The Corpse

Coop: A Family, A Farm and the Pursuit of One Good Egg

Finding Martha's Place: My Journey Through Sin, Salvation, and Lots of Soul Food

Have you read any of these? I'd love to know.


Ah, memories! Tom brought up Benny Hester this morning (we had his albums in the 80's) and this song, below, fits my post perfectly:


Odie Langley said...

Good post Debra, always proper to follow HIM.

Pat said...

Doesn't it sting when our childrens 'negative' comments have a tinge of truth in them? Been there done that! But you turned it into something valuable for yourself, you are very wise.
I didn't get to comment on the mystery book suggestions, so here's mine.
The Circular Staircase by Mary Roberts Rinehart,written in 1907. You may have already read it, but if not, I think you will thoroughly enjoy it! I have it on my kindle and it was only 99 cents to download!

Lisa said...

I love the honesty of your post, and even your argument with God. My husband once asked me how I know it is God speaking and I replied, "Because I am not getting the answer I wanted !"

Anonymous said...

Well, I have 2 grown daughters, one here yet and one not. I feel they look at me under the microscope, one more than the other. They tell me things, my son never has. And it seems that children basically remember you as you WERE, not as you ARE don't let it get you down. Besides your daughter and mine at home are not mommies yet...that can change a few things, you know. Besides no one but GOD REALLY knows how you are inside!! HE is our judge and HE alone...that is a good thought!! Keep on keeping on...blessings,
Elizabeth in NC

Julie in Texas said...

God tells us explicitly not to worry. Very hard to overcome as a human, but when we do, it is so liberating. The people I sense extreme peace and comfort from are those who, after going through some mind-shocking loss (homes destroyed, etc.), are interviewed on TV and calmly proclaim that they have faith in God to see them through it all.