Monday, April 04, 2011

Of Rereading Blogs and Diaries

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—-or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” ... Luke 10:41, 42

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Do you have a blog? Do you have a drawer or shelf filled with diaries you've kept for years?

Well, I have both and lately I've been rereading this blog and uh-oh! The verse which kept coming to me is the one at the top of this post.

I have too often been a Martha when of course, I fancied myself a 24/7 Mary.

Heh. Facing ones true self and looking right into her blue eyes is such a Good Thing. Knowing oneself is priceless and it's also a big shove toward humility.

Let me tell ya.

Well, the good news is that all along I've wanted to be a Mary, so there's that. That counts for something, I'm certain. After all, whole decades ago I aimed at being a 24/7 Martha because, well, the world seemed to call for that. I didn't understand Mary, didn't get her, really. Yet since around 1994 I've understood her and wanted to act like her, that is, from a new, remade heart. And there's been much of that.

Yet there's been much Martha-ing, too, going on around my house and my blog--I see that now. What a wake-up! How sad to read how often I've worried about things which never came to pass. And how tiresome to, these past six years, find such patterns in my blog. Every January and February I complain about the snow. Every July and August you read my complaints about the heat and humidity (you poor dear Readers!). Every December I'm complaining about Christmas, every October I'm burned-out with yard sales.

And yet two of my main goals in Life? To not complain or worry. Period.

Sigh.

So what's a girl to do? Condemn herself, hang her head, feel all guilty, pathetic and hopeless and just go off in defeat and do her own thing?

Nah, this girl needs to go deeper, deeper into humility and God and acceptance and pliable-ness. She needs more quiet time, she needs more Mary-ing in her hours.

And personally? That sounds like a lovely challenge. I'll take it.




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Oh! And while rereading my blog I discovered that some of you have been leaving encouraging comments here for lots of years--and I do thank you. Much.

4 comments:

Kristi in the Western Reserve said...

I think many of us (certainly me) fall into this sort of pattern too. The best thing I know to do is begin every day (while still in bed, even) with counting my blessings. And really Debra, you count your blessings a lot too, and are a very positive voice out here in cyberspace, or whatever it's called.

A copy of a book you recommended - Tophill Road - arrived Saturday and I'm going to begin reading it soon. I already like the illustrations. The had such good illustrations in books for kids from about 7 - 12 yrs in the 50s.

And there are wonderful children's book illustrators now, too. So I'm not complaining that everything used to be better. Things just change. The older I get the more clearly I see this.

Debra said...

Kristi--thanks so much! You are way too kind. :)

Oh! And thanks, too, for letting me know you bought a copy of Tophill Road. How fun! Do let me know what you think of it, ok? I really enjoyed it, lots of country adventure in that book, the house descriptions are cozy and it's a book I'll want to reread probably next winter.

Thanks for your comments here all these years--they (and you) always make me smile.

Pearl said...

Hi Debra, thanks for your comment on my blog. I need to go reread my blog but I'm afraid to because I've done it before and I was sure a negative nert at times, and when I get that way I have to just stop blogging for awhile until I have something good to talk about. I try to be joyful but I suffer from depression and also many other ailments and sometimes I'm just a grump!! But I figure we all go there so at least you and I recignize it and try to turn it around. Sorry my spelling is so bad and somedays is worse than others. So I give you so much credit for posting this. O.K. now lets smile and think of something positive bwahhh!!!

Storybook Woods said...

You know what helps me to be more of a Mary, blessings. Looking for all I have, instead of what I do not have. It helps me be happy, positive and let go of the stupid stuff xoxo Clarice