Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Alas. There will be no Carl around here at Christmas.

Naomi called me yesterday and said that the friendship phase of her and Carl is over. Finis. No more. Done. Kaput.

And you know? Inside, I accepted that more easily than I would have, say, last week. I believe Grace softened that blow. Tom and I love Carl, but right now he and Naomi are making each other crazy, unhappy and bonkers, so space is needed. Perhaps permanent space, even.

Yet as Naomi explained the myriad details of this derailing and other sad details of her life, I heard at least five invitations to worry. Remember those? And I felt myself sinking, sinking, sinking. Of course, I reminded myself of all the posts I've written to help overcome worry and discouragement. I thought of other people's words and sermons, too, but still? Eventually I found myself slouched in the recliner with a snack (containing chocolate, but of course) and A Christmas Carol dvd playing, waiting to pull out of this overwhelming-ness which enjoys zapping my head, especially out here at this farm.

But soon I switched off George C. Scott's Scrooge and what did I find playing on the tv? Good ol' SuperNanny, Jo Frost. Boy, do I love her. Boy, do I respect the anointing upon her to do what she does amazingly well. And the mom on the show this time? Oh my. I'd never seen such a whiner in all the episodes before. She just stood there as her daughter slapped at her hands, she had no idea how to discipline either of her children and she kept crying and telling the camera, "I'm just not strong enough for this. I just can't do this."

I leaned forward, stared at her all bug-eyed and judgemental-like and said, "What a wuss! What a whiner. Come on, Lady, get a grip."

Then you know what happened, don't you? This little voice within me said, "Oh Debra, Dear..... For the past two hours, your spirit has looked exactly like that woman. You allowed those overwhelmed feelings to sink you into a recliner, with food, in front of the tv when there's a whole host of other things you could be doing. Instead of staying on top of your feelings, you gave them room at the top, pushing you down, down, down."

Wow! How true. And as all that conviction played inside my head, I also heard Nanny Jo speak oh-so-firmly to that mom on tv, telling her that, Yes! She can discipline her children and no, she's not too weak. And to snap out of it.

Well, you should have seen me pop up out of that recliner! I took up Nanny Jo's pep talk within my own head and went about my afternoon doing what God has called me to do around here. And feeling strong. And grateful that God can bring deliverance in surprising ways, probably because He enjoys variety and hates it when we believe we've got Him all figured-out. For how boring Life becomes when we think God does things always this way, but never that way.

So a special thanks goes to the Holy Spirit for telling it like it is. And to Nanny Jo, also, for the same thing.


"And David encouraged himself in the Lord..."

"Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might..."

"Having done all to stand, stand...."

"We need each other..."


Beth said...

I so understand the overwhelming feeling of "concern" (really, we know it's worry) over adult children learning how to navigate their lives in this world today. My heart has been heavy for all 4 of my grown children for different reasons. I needed to hear Nanny Jo's message too. Thanks so much for sharing your heart.

Myrna said...

I don't have much time to write as life is a little nuts right now...but suffice to say I understand, you are not alone, and you are handling everything amazingly well, even if you don't feel like you are.
Wish I could pop over for some tea and sit with you while we listen to Christmas music together...
God's good. Prayers are going up and answers are coming down!
Love you!

Tina said...

Debra you may recall that recently I announced my son's engagement. What I didn't say on my blog was that we are especially grateful they are getting married because we are tired of having our heart broken after falling in love with the perfect (and I do mean perfect) girls he would date exclusively for *years* before they broke up. Now that he has found "THE ONE", we can be thankful he was willing to wait for the one who not only is perfect now but will be perfect for his whole life.

This will happen for Naomi too, and you'll have a lifetime of rejoicing for it when that time comes. For now, it's a very human and appropriate grief that a young man your family cares for will now be taking a different path.

Here's to Christmas Yet To Come!


Louise said...

You have NO idea how this post was me yesterday!!! One phone call tore about my day ... I too ended up on the couch with food & the tv ... then, thankfully, our Grandpup stepped in and things changed. Bless you for sharing this!

Donetta said...

Yes Darlin' we do need each other. Stand

Yellowhouse Grandma said...

Oh Debra, I can't tell you how happy I was to "find" you last night! I've looked and looked for a long time. . . and I sooooo needed to "hear" your message last night. . I have 5 of those adult children, plus spouses, etc. Thank you soooo much! And I am so happy that the Lord has given you the desire of your hearts too and you are in the country! We love it out here still and I even had my beloved Chickens for a year! I gave them up for now, as my Dad moved in with us late this summer.
Anyway, this is Linda from the Gladys group, in Michigan and was so comforted by reading your blogs!! and the Scriptures. I even sent some by text to my son.