Friday, December 07, 2007


There's this verse in Proverbs about four things the author doesn't understand:

"There are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that I do not understand:

the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
...the way of a man with a maiden."

And here's what Debra would add:

"...and the way people put those silly, gigantic inflatable Santas, snowmen and reindeer on their lawns."

I mean, really. Come on.

Everyday I take my walk around the neighborhood and everyday I see poor ol' Santas sprawled across lawns like spread-eagle pancakes beside their deflated plastic friends.

I don't understand the Christmas cheer of that.

In my mind, I always imagine the abominable snowman, at night, tromping across all those lawns, committing mass murder. Or that Santa and his friends got so cold, they decided to impale themselves rather than take one more freezing long night while having to keep those goofy grins upon their faces.

It's like, what are people thinking? Who wants to blow-up gigantic plastic characters over and over only to wake up in the morning and discover them strewn, pancake-style across the lawn--again?

Not me, anyway.

So, I guess, like Solomon (or whoever wrote that part in Proverbs), there are just some things which must be too amazing for me to understand, as well.  ツ



daisymarie said...

shhhh, don't tell. nelson bought one this year. it's a train. it makes him smile. it's worth it to me.

Hope said...

Debra, this post is toooo funny!! It bring to mind one man here in town who puts up all those blow-up figures in his yard and adds to the collection every year. And every year he has "pancakes" all over his yard!! lol This year we drove by and there were 5, count them, FIVE, blow-up snow globes added. A couple of them had already started to deflate and only one of them was blowing the snow around.
What is even funnier is that he lives in a very ritzy neighborhood that I refer to as "Snob Knob". I've often wondered what his neighbors think.
Pacakes..abominable snowman commiting mass murder...Santa impaling himself....HAH! HAH! I'll be laughing all day over this one!! Thanks!

Thickethouse.wordpress said...

Exactly what Paul and I alway said when walking our dog past the house which looked charming in the evening, but so pathetic in the daytime with those pools of dead plastic. It's true that there is something like a warm air pump that reinflates them, but the way they look in the day is too terribly pathetic.

Pat said...

This is so funny....I just came back from a little grocery shopping and noticed all the "pancake" plastics on a lot of front yards. Apparently judging from the great number of them, it must have been a good thing to market! I agree with you, they don't do a thing for me!