Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!

I just now placed pumpkin pies in the oven and it's time to get Tom out of bed, but I thought I'd zip downstairs and wish you all a merry Christmas.

Yes, I meant to get back here yesterday and I would have except that we watched a certain movie, one called, Away From Her, and it made me want to just stay upstairs with Tom.

Tom and I discussed the movie all the way through (there were many film silences). It made us ask, "What would we do in that situation?", for it was about an older couple who must deal with the wife's increasing Alzheimer's and the pain each spouse experiences with her approaching memory loss.

How odd, we thought, that it was written and produced by young Sarah Polley who's only one year older than our daughter. The movie was well-written, with only one scene which could have been left out (don't all movies have at least one?), though I'd not recommend it for children (too slow, confusing and boring for most).

But for Tom and I? It's still making us think. What would we do if one of us no longer remembered the other? How would we handle the hurt? How long would we wait before we admitted we could no longer handle the other's sickness?

But more (and here is my excuse why I didn't come back here as I kinda promised)--it made us want to just sit together and appreciate each other while we still can.

This film made us want to celebrate what we have while we still have it.

And that feeling will carry over to this Christmas Day and make it all the more special, simple, calm and appreciated. And we'll remember that Life is not about getting, but rather, about gratitude of what God has given--and giving to others out of that.

Again, Merry Christmas to each of you who stop by here during your days and spend some time with me. You are appreciated!



smilnsigh said...

Wishing you a calm Christmas, and a calm moving day tomorrow.

Posts and comments here, will probably be few and far between, for a time. May you enjoy everything about your coming months. And return fulltime, to 'The Land Of Net,' when it feels right, to do so.

I'm sure you are having your snail mail forwarded to your new address, though...


Storybook Woods said...

Dear Debra, I pray this is a blessed and peaceful Chirstmas. Love Clarice

nancyr said...

I just got back from seeing my mom, in a nursing home, who does have Alzheimer's.
And, she doesn't know me any more, and is "living" in her mind in the past. It is sad, but she does seem content, most of the time, and is always happy to see me.
Have a very Merry Christmas, and don't worry about things that probably won't happen, and if they do, will happen in a very long time.

Jammie J. said...

I've not yet seen that movie, though it's been recommended to me by another friend as well. I just don't know if I can bear to watch something like that when I feel like I've finally found (and appreciate every moment) the one man for me. I don't know...

But I do know I came over here to wish you a merry Christmas. :)

Mindy said...

Merry Christmas Debra! May your Christmas holiday be filled with God's peace and joy!

Ann said...

Merry Christmas.

Kathryn Judson said...

A couple years ago, my husband was seriously ill with heart failure and other problems, and one day his mind got so miswired that he simply wasn't the man I knew. If it had just been David weak or David confused it would have been hard enough, but this was like an entirely different person had moved inside his body (and an unintelligent, incapable person at that).

I was lucky, in that he was gentle, and caring - but he didn't know me, not really. He called me Kathryn, not using any of the nicknames he uses for me instead of my name. His voice, his mannerisms, his concerns, his attitudes, his understanding of things, his memories, none of them matched the man I knew. I think it's fair to say I freaked out.

Thank goodness for believing in marriage as something in which God is involved, because at the very worst part, I took a deep, deep breath, admitted that although this wasn't 'the man I'd married,' he was still my husband, and I'd promised God I'd stick by him 'til death do us part, and I was not going to walk out on that promise. Just like that, love and peace flooded my heart, and I fell in love with the man he'd become. Just like that, I could stop panicking, and could concentrate on practical matters, like hauling him to the doctor's office the next morning to see if there was anything they could do for us.

We got lucky again, because it turned out that the otherness was due to a freaky reaction to an experimental drug they'd given him the day before. When it wore off, he was back to being himself.

But in the meantime I'd learned a valuable lesson. As soon as I remembered the sacredness of my wedding vows, I knew that God would give me the grace to deal with whatever we came up against, come what may. By all means, be grateful for each other as you now are, but don't underrate the ability of God and His grace to help you if things change, even drastically. (Besides, none of us gets just what we plan on anyway, right?)