I've written a few times from the invisible-to-others waiting room, the place where one sits quietly while healing from emotional stuff lest she becomes a hoarder, eater, recluse or I'll-show-you! controller.
It's like I woke up this morning, gazed around and thought, "No! I'm not here again, am I? It's been years since I needed this annoying place."
Why's it annoying? It's the 'time requirement' for healing. The way you must make shorter To Do Lists and appear like you're sitting around all lazy-like, yet believe, accept, that you're not wasting time though it looks like you are. And it's the annoying clock across the room which I swear click-clicks backward.
In the waiting room, one must give herself permission to sit still, listen, and stare out of windows.
Some healings happen suddenly. But the stacked-hurt-upon-hurt-you-tried-to-ignore kind? You can't rush those kinds of sutures. They come only by way of silence, God-whispered lessons and a surgery-like repair and girding of the heart. And time. Slowed down, waaaait-for-it time.
But lovely things can happen in the waiting room, also.
Like, the sweetest reading material arrived for me from two dear old friends who, like me, had no idea I was even in this place.
Here's just half of what they snuck into me:
I became all teary-eyed with gratitude that God asked my friends to send me perfect gifts during this time of healing. He loves me that much and wow, my friends obeyed that still, small voice.
How sweet must be our obedience to God.
Anyway, the complete healing will come. Always, the waiting room door eventually swings open and everything good in this Life sweeps you back outside and twirls you around until that room, those hours and days, are barely a memory in all your newness of life.
Other friends have also spoken the kindest words to me lately, made me smile and feel grateful while sitting here. I do thank each of you.
In the stillness around here, I did cover one bathroom wall with wallpaper and decided to just leave it that way (rather than two walls). Finally, a bit of character in our grey bathroom. I like it.
“Pain is a pesky part of being human, I've learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can't be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Free Kindle Book:
Cappucinos, Cupcakes and a Corpse (Finished this one and enjoyed it.)
Carved in Stone