Friday, September 14, 2007

Okay. Since my vain attempts at humor have a tendency to confuse people or make them pity me, I'll tell you this now: the following post is supposed to be funny. Okay?


Yesterday I received some devastating news. Today I am still reeling.

See, for a few weeks I've been weighing myself on Tom's Ebay package scale here in our basement. It's very like a regular bathroom scale, except that you have to read the numbers upside-down. And well, for weeks, that (blessed/holy/merciful) scale told me I was losing weight. Without even trying to lose weight. Well, except for eating organic and being more careful to take my daily walk around these neighborhoods (of which I'm becoming tired since--now--these scrunched-together houses are giving me claustrophobia. But that's not part of this story).

Anyway, I even told all of you I'd lost my winter weight (finally, at the end of summer). I'd told a few other people around my town, too.

So yesterday Tom and I were at this ghost-town like shopping mall nearby and while he shopped for tools at Sears, I spied one of those tall, metal and enamel old-fashioned scales which I'd seen in old movies, usually comedies. Blithely, like an idiot, I popped in my quarter so I could see how much I weighed.

Good grief.

That stupid/horrible/unkind scale told me I weighed ten more pounds than I thought I did. Ten pounds!


Unable to even focus on my so-called lucky number, I backed away, horrified, from the scale and went bawling through the mall till I found Tom at Sears. Okay, so I didn't really bawl. But I'm sure I resembled a woman in the first stages of shock.

Well, I threw myself at Tom, told him the whole sordid tale and how his unreliable/broken-down/pathetic basement scale had lied to me. For weeks. And do you know what he said after I stopped sputtering? He said, "Oh, those kinds of old-fashioned store scales are never right. Don't worry about it. I'm sure my scale is accurate and that you've lost weight after all."

What a sweetie. A misinformed and mistaken sweetie, but a sweetie nonetheless.

Well, I walked out to the car to nurse my wounds and, suddenly, everything made sense. How, earlier, when I'd told our daughter and my friend, Laura, and Tom that I'd lost more than ten pounds, not one of them said, "Really? I'd thought you were looking slimmer." Nope. Not one of them said anything like that. And my slacks weren't feeling especially loose, either, and that had had me a bit mystified.

But you know? Here's the wild thing. I'd been feeling slimmer. I'd strolled around supermarkets with a happy-that-I'm-finally-losing-weight smile, practically skipping out to my car in the parking lot. And the few times I peered into mirrors, holding in my stomach, of course, I even appeared skinnier to my (poor, over-40) eyes.

And that realization made me stop sputtering and whining. It came to me, again, that--mostly-- how we feel about ourselves is all inside our heads. That what matters most is what we tell ourselves, rather than what others tell us. What matters most, too, is that we listen to what God says about us-- and He's certainly not standing over us criticizing, condemning or waiting for us to fail.

Instead, He's standing beside us, within us, always ready to help. To inspire. To instruct. And He's always available to love us through the goofy things we do while we are learning how to live His way, not ours. While we're learning to decipher what really matters--and what does not.


Ann said...

I do the same thing on my work scale. I better have a second look because I've been trying to loose and from my view point looking down at the scale I havn't. Maybe I'm just looking wrong. Great POST! You had me smiling. Sorry I haven't been posting regular on yahoo. Just not time at the moment! I'll have to catch up this weekend!

Judy said...

It really isn't about the weight.

I went to the doctor last month and had LOST 10 pounds since I'd last been there.

Big deal. I look worse and my clothes are tighter.

So, I feel your pain, sort of.

Jennifer said...

Your attempt at humor was successful. I was laughing with you!

You're so right, though, and as usual your post hits me at a time when I need reminding most. Thanks. :-)

Saija said...

our scale is about 5 pounds MORE than anyone elses ... so i happily get on other peoples scales ... easy pick-me-upper! *smiling*

congrats to you tho' ... you are even typing slimmer! i can tell ... :o)

R said...

That was a funny story but then you went and made it all serious at the end.

I do agree with you about all of it though!! LOL!!!

daisymarie said...


Kathy said...

Good post, and funny :o) Sorry you didn't lose the least you are eating healthy and feeling good, which the important thing after all.

Dapoppins said...

lousy, schmousy, scales. They are all against US. it is a PLOT.