Friday, February 18, 2011

Words Fitly Spoken

Yesterday our home felt like a funeral parlor.

Lennon the Cat barely ate anything and we all know that's the sign that his life will need to be soon ceased. He spent most of the day upon the blanket on Tom's lap and I kept pausing, kneeling in front of him, tears in my eyes, whispering how he was the best cat ever and oh, how much I love him.

And Tom, he's taking this harder than even I am. Naomi's grieving, too.

I kept wanting to shake this nightmare from my heavy head, to awake and think, "Oh good! It was just a dream." But when something is real you are awake already. Real is, well, real after all.

So the heaviness in the walls, even, was palpable, and Tom watched Ice Road Truckers all afternoon which drove me to my headphones and the music at Daisy Cottage. And then it happened. While Moon River played (a song which makes me cry even on good days) and I wiped away more tears, reminding myself to breathe, I heard God whisper to me from the center of my sorrow:

"Debra, I will make this up to you. I promise."

Oh, when you hear from God! I saw a tiny glimpse of Heaven and remembered His biblical words about Heaven being better than our minds can imagine. But then I knew He meant here on Earth, also. Someday, somehow He'll make Lennon's impending departure up to me. There are good, good things ahead for me. Future delights. Giddy surprises. Joy returned.

And with His words, the heaviness of my spirit lifted--I haven't felt the same since that remarkable thing. Oh, there's still sadness that after today or tomorrow Lennon will be gone, but He lifted me above the sorrow--no longer am I flailing, drowning beneath it. The God of Hope lifted my head and I'll rely upon Him to keep me up here in the difficult days ahead.

There truly is no one like Him.


Dolores said...

Oh Debra I am so sorry that Lennon is not doing well and will soon leave you. We just lost our Sadie at Thanksgiving, she was 18. Two years ago we lost Moose who was our little man in cats clothing. We don't know how old he was but we had him for 15 years. My heart aches for you because I know what it's like to watch them slip away. I am glad that you are relying on God to get you through, it's the only way. God bless. Dolores

Unknown said...

Everyone that has a cherished pet can identify with your grief Debra and I am glad that you and God had special moment yesterday. That always helps. Feel the compassionate thoughts coming your way from balmy NC. Can you believe we are in the 70's and clear blue skys. Praise God from whom all blessing flow.

Julie in Texas said...

I'm glad you received a quick power jolt of hope from God. We don't know what joys lie just around the hidden bend...