Thursday, August 14, 2014

"I Won't Beg Anyone to Be My Friend"

"One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a Friend who sticks closer than a brother."   ... Proverbs 18:24


Weird title, right? Well, about the time we moved from the farm, that's what I began quoting to myself when I'd ask (formerly great)friends to come visit, but they'd just nod their heads (and not say a word) or when it would take online friends an average of 6 weeks to reply to my emails.

But in the old days? I'd keep pursuing folks who never reciprocated dinners in our home or didn't reply to snail mail or wouldn't return phone calls. They'd quip the ol', "I've just been soo busy," so then I'd try again with more dinner invitations, cards, phone messages ... wait again for weeks for replies, receive more excuses or no words at all ... and still spin another time around upon that pathetic merry go 'round.

Good grief.

There's a bad kind of pride and there's a basic, ok kind, as in, we need to view ourselves the way God does--and He does not see us as unworthies who must, all bug-eyed, beg for friendship. We're all more valuable than that.

But sometimes we're pretty silly:

We don't understand there are seasons to everything, including friendship, and to hold onto a dead friendship will always hurt us eventually.

We don't realize it's better to be alone than to have 'friends' who hold us back from where God wants to take us.

We don't get it that--sometimes--God wants a season alone with us to become our best friend, so He (somehow) nudges others to back-off for awhile, then we go and get mad at them, because--again--we don't get it.

(There's more, but this is only a blog post, after all.)

What to remember? It's not really that a friend suddenly, strangely turned bad. Not at all! It's more like the friendship became bad for both. It moved away from its original season of mutual aid, over to a helps-neither point. Perhaps one friend discovered her true, godly path in life, moved toward it and met different friends there. Or both friends' paths led in opposite directions and maybe only one friend recognized what was happening.

As all friendships have their unique course, there are probably thousands of unique reasons for a friendship's demise.

But what matters is that we don't try to resuscitate what God let die. He has reasons for every type of ending, reasons we may never understand, but ones we can accept anyway when we've (truly) placed all our friendships in His hands to do with as He wishes.


"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another."   ... Proverbs 27:17

"Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm"   ...Proverbs 13:20.

Holding onto the wrong friend can keep blind us from the right one waiting in the wings.


With the suicide death of Robin Williams, there's much talk about depression right now. Many times I've recommended here that everyone have their Vitamin D levels checked (there are home kits now, even) and take Vitamin D3 supplements.  For me they've made an incredible difference, they, and changing my way of thinking. 

For other symptoms which Vitamin D3 has been known to help, go here.  Or here.  Or here.

I take a small variety of supplements, but if you're struggling emotionally and I could talk you into taking only one? It would be D3. 

Yeah, I feel it's that important. Oh, and Tom and I prefer the fruity chewable ones because we never forget to take anything that is tasty. :)

(And yes, I'd also advise you to avoid anything which can personally increase depression symptoms. We are all 'fearfully and wonderfully made' yes! But it amazes me how each body can vary as to what it needs and certainly does not... and how we must stay tuned-into what's going on inside the body we were given.)


Free Kindle books:

Deliver Me From Negative Self-Talk

My Last Rock Bottom

Marriage Matters

The Red Collar

A Prince Among Dogs


Dolores said...

Debra, you are so right about the friend thing. I had a best friend growing up but, when we became adults she drifted away and I wouldn't hear from her for years. Occasionally I would call her and try to force the friendship thing. Now we speak maybe once every year or two and have the best time catching up and laughing. We have gone in different directions in life and I had to accept that. Also, thanks for the great information on vitamin D. I have several of the conditions listed and had no idea vitamin D might help. (Asthma, psoriasis, arthritis, weakness, etc.) My most recent blood test shows that I have low vitamin D. Debra, you have helped me in so many ways over the years with your sage advice!

Debra said...

And Dolores--you have so many times kept me from thinking I'm just talking to myself here. For that, I thank you.

D3 has done remarkable things for my head (emotions) and for the arthritis that runs in my family--I have nearly no problems with arthritis since taking the D3, but I was starting to before I began.

During the summer I take 2,000 units (another 1,000 if I'm feeling cranky or not getting outside) and 4,000 during the winter. A real doctor can help you more with your own dosages, but I'd choose a doctor who is at least open to more natural forms of healing and doesn't insist upon medications no matter what. :)

As always, thanks for your very kind words which never fail to encourage me! Blessings, Debra