Friday, February 10, 2012
February! Ack. Each year I try not to dread it, try only to concentrate upon its good; its Valentine's Day (my favorite) and the way it bridges Winter and Springtime, carrying us closer to green leaves, sunny skies and warm days. I lecture myself not to dread it, to expect only lovely things ("be it unto you even as you have believed")--but still--February seems determined to be the one month of the year doomed to bring bad things.
Sigh. Tom's dad has been given only days to live.
But he is 85, after all. He's lived a long life, lived it as he chose, made his own decisions and he's loved God for whole decades. Death is very much a part of Life, but oh, the finality, the walking away are such sad parts.
Tom spoke with his mom over the phone today and she's handling it well, all things considered, and she told us not to feel we must come out to California at this time. We are grateful she understands our financial predicament for oh! At this moment we are approaching Limbo Time, a time for 18 months we've known would come and emotionally we feel ready for the trusting God part as we make decisions and others make decisions in our behalf while we wait for an outcome. But over these next few months we cannot travel across the U.S., cannot spend extra dimes unless God tells us.
We are so grateful for our train trip back in September 2010 when we visited with Tom's family, back before everything changed for his parents and they moved to a different town to be nearer Tom's sister and daughter, to live where they could be cared for. The normalcy and sweetness of reunions during those soft September days when everyone was alive and well as could be--that's what we'll remember. The giving of flowers while the person was still here to receive them. And we know Tom's dad remembers those days fondly, too.
Live well today, while it is still today. Appreciate everything you've ever been able to do in Life, every place you've ever visited-- let those be utmost thoughts, not the ones about what you may have missed. Be glad for every sweet memory which you can claim as your very own.
Somewhere in this house we have a very cool photo of Tom's parents from the time they were first married, a kind-of Daniel Boone, out-in-the-woods picture, but I can't find it at the moment. If I do, I'll post it. You'd like it.