I'm back! And on my birthday, of all days.
I majorly missed you, especially after your kind comments and the sweetest emails, ever. Really, I kept writing blog posts to you inside my head, so well, after getting God's ok, I came back.
Know what my problem was? I'd stepped right over many of my own personal boundaries, just casually allowed myself to barrel through Grace's lovely, keep-you-out-of-trouble voice, in fact.
Tsk. Tsk. Rather than just appreciating coupons and my online surveys, it became more like Must. Find. More. Coupons. And. Surveys. Rather than trusting God, I stepped over into worry. Rather than staying on this side of balance, joy and saying no to distractions, I crossed over into a land ripe with so-so, average places for my head. And it all led to an oh-hum, average, fretful sort of life.
Not good. Don't ever blast right through your personal boundaries, ok?
And the remarkable thing? Just realizing my mistake with boundaries was enough to restore some joy and hope and gladness. Just the thinking about it! Wow. God is neat that way.
So with my boundaries back in place (most of them), I've returned to Blogland and with you. And I do thank you--your notes reminded me that there is a purpose to all this and I should stay here until God moves me to another land.
Know what I did yesterday? I, alone, drove back to our hometown and went to the dentist and finally got that chipped tooth problem filled (four weeks later). Then I bought groceries (coupons in my hot little hands), then I drove to the DMV to get my licence renewed--needed an eye test this time. Good gracious, they got me in and out of there in three minutes--yes, at the DMV. And gah, they took my picture, me all totally unprepared and with a crooked smile from the Novocaine. Oh well.
And as I drove through the sunny streets of that town where we lived 15 years I recalled all my nearly-enchanted years there. Oh the good times! I told myself I'm ready to return to those giddy times of the heart, for that's where the best times happen--on the inside. It's in the head and heart where we decide to be happy and keep calm. Those are the places where joy springs up and blossoms all pink and yellow--even in winter. Nothing can take that joy away. Nothing.
So happy birthday to me on a day when I can absolutely smell Springtime and Hope on the air. And even though Tom is still without a job and Lennon is forever gone and I injured a rib with all my coughing from that dreadful virus and, oh, the tragedies in Japan! Yet God is still God, He is still good, has everything under control, and our robin pair arrived last week to tell me that all will be well. And I believed them.
Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]