Yesterday our home felt like a funeral parlor.
Lennon the Cat barely ate anything and we all know that's the sign that his life will need to be soon ceased. He spent most of the day upon the blanket on Tom's lap and I kept pausing, kneeling in front of him, tears in my eyes, whispering how he was the best cat ever and oh, how much I love him.
And Tom, he's taking this harder than even I am. Naomi's grieving, too.
I kept wanting to shake this nightmare from my heavy head, to awake and think, "Oh good! It was just a dream." But when something is real you are awake already. Real is, well, real after all.
So the heaviness in the walls, even, was palpable, and Tom watched Ice Road Truckers all afternoon which drove me to my headphones and the music at Daisy Cottage. And then it happened. While Moon River played (a song which makes me cry even on good days) and I wiped away more tears, reminding myself to breathe, I heard God whisper to me from the center of my sorrow:
"Debra, I will make this up to you. I promise."
Oh, when you hear from God! I saw a tiny glimpse of Heaven and remembered His biblical words about Heaven being better than our minds can imagine. But then I knew He meant here on Earth, also. Someday, somehow He'll make Lennon's impending departure up to me. There are good, good things ahead for me. Future delights. Giddy surprises. Joy returned.
And with His words, the heaviness of my spirit lifted--I haven't felt the same since that remarkable thing. Oh, there's still sadness that after today or tomorrow Lennon will be gone, but He lifted me above the sorrow--no longer am I flailing, drowning beneath it. The God of Hope lifted my head and I'll rely upon Him to keep me up here in the difficult days ahead.
There truly is no one like Him.