Sunday, January 03, 2010

Of Acceptance


So Naomi gave me (among other things) some colloidal silver for Christmas to take for that annoying infected root canal tooth, the one which I can't have pulled till the 15th. And well, guess what? I've felt so much more cheerful since taking that stuff! Wow, pretty good, especially since for most of 2009 my head felt cranky and forgetful, making me concerned about both.

The companion change I've made since Christmas is to remind myself of something I've told you many times, namely, I've been applying more acceptance to my daily life. Officially, I've stopped expecting myself to be as 'sharp' as I was at 37.

Namely, I now accept that I must double-check everything. Double-check that I locked the car doors at night, turned out the lights, turned down the heater, and turned off the stove top, the tv and my alarm clock. And when I forget to do any of these or forget to send back a Netflix movie or pay a bill or take my grocery list? Or when Tom forgets things? I need to forgive myself (and Tom) and not say things like, "Good grief, Debra (or Tom)! What's the matter with you?"

A simple, "Hey, I'm half-a-century old," or humming the Twilight Zone theme, is kinder. I am finding that the gentler I am with myself, the less stressful I become and that leads to longer stretches of happiness. And a better-working memory, even.

My favorite teacher once said that, "People who can't accept things, often go insane." I had to think about that one awhile before I understood, but then I thought of people who can't accept that they've lost a loved one--and how that can lead to a lifestyle of paralyzing grief or even pretending that the loved one is still here. Or those who can't accept the end of a relationship and the way that can lead to not seeking new relationships (debilitating loneliness resulting) or even to stalking ex.'s. And those who refuse to accept their present age can lead to imagining one is younger, wearing clothes meant for younger folks and acting in an affected manner--and driving everyone away.

Acceptance is vital. Respecting the seasons in my life--and how those seasons are always changing--is vital for good mental health. Ignoring or fighting or running from those seasons will take me to dark places.

And may I never become so forgetful that I forget that.


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Some things just are what they are.

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The above photo is me at age 37, you know, back when I was sharp. :)

8 comments:

Debbie V. said...

Debra, what a wonderful post. Lots of wisdom about moving on. Thank you for reminding me to be gentle to myself AND others. I try to be thankful for all the good things I have had and not regret that I don't still have them.
I've been forgetting things for a few years now, and it if wasn't for others my age telling me they are experiencing the same things, I would be scared for myself. Now my hearing is not as good as it used to be - not a change I like, but I'm not going to stress over it.

... Paige said...

lovely post today and good points for us all

Judy said...

Amen and AMEN.

Sara said...

you're preaching to the choir!

Jammie J. said...

Indeed. Also, how can one accept others for who they are (quirks and all) if I can't accept myself?

Kristi in the Western Reserve said...

Debra, I am glad you are feeling better, but if you really have an infection you do need to see a doctor. It does much more than make you feel bad.

And remember, I'm 15 years older than you are, and fifty is not that old anymore! I just began medicare, and what a mental adjustment that is!

Some things do change, but I think just you need to walk in the sunlight a little, even if it is very cold out! (I think I have a little Seasonal affective disorder myself and neither of us may have much real sunshine today, alas!)

Ah, I'm rambling here! Just have a good day, Debra. You are certainly right about acceptance.

Debra said...

Thanks, Everyone! I am loving reading about your thoughts of acceptance and hearing I'm not the only forgetful one amongst us. :)

Kristi--technically I did see a doctor. My dentist said having the tooth pulled would take care of the infection. And from what I've read, I know he's right--it's a very common problem with root canals and that's why I'm not planning on having anymore. Thanks for your concern! :)

Blessings, Debra

Beth said...

Accepting who we are at this point in time. What a liberating idea! We are surrounded by young beautiful images, it is so easy to compare ourselves to them. I know I've had trouble mentally seeing myself as a chubby, graying middle-aged woman. But you know what? I can change the chubby...and even the graying...but I can't change my age and why would I want to. I've lived and learned so much. I'm embracing who I right now.

I am working on the chubby, but as for the graying, I'm going to let nature take it's course.

Thanks for the thought-provoking post.