Thursday, March 19, 2009

My family lived in the country from the time I was 5 until I was 7, then again when I was 10 and 11. I've never forgotten what early Spring felt like upon the countryside and--I believe--I've yearned to return to the country for all these 39 years.

That's such a long time to crave something, sometimes vaguely, for not always have I realized I craved it.

I told you that I feel healed after taking these two 'medical leave' months off as directed by God. And really, I do. But you know? These past few sunny days as I've soaked and dreamed and listened in the sun before the windows of our (paint-chipped, uninsulated) front porch, I've felt like I was healing from something else altogether.

Healing from what? From having lived -- for 39 years-- inside houses with no countryside views from their windows, but only brick or wood slat walls and fronts of other houses across the street... From living sandwiched between two other houses, squeezed and feeling watched or listened to, even, and hearing others, also, if they raised their voices (or the volume on their radio or tv)... And from feeling as though all windows had eyes watching me whenever I stepped outside the doors or sat upon an open porch.

Thirty-nine years of all that non-privacy placed upon this private person. Wow. No wonder the healing is taking all these hours, all these afternoons. But oh.... it feels so good! All that warm sunlight pouring in through old porch windows upon me at the round table-cloth'd window corner... the Great Doctor's office, I believe. All that heat tenderizing what had grown hardened when it taught itself to not yearn for what it could not have. Heat like x-rays, like heating pads, like Ben-Gay and saunas.

Usually, Lennon The Cat sits upon the table all squinty-eyed just inches from my face and when he turns to me I truly believe he is healing, too. "Now this is Good," his golden eyes tell me. "Windows should have views of pastures and trees and robins and sky."

I stare right back at him and agree. Totally. And we both go on healing at the table in all that sunlight, together.


In Today's World, with today's news reports, I highly recommend taking time-out to heal, stealing it even, doing whatever is required to stay whole.


Tracy said...

I love country views, too! I love the privacy {though we still have neighbors}, space, and being surrounded by nature. :)

Elizabeth said...

I am like you, I love the country and the water.When I am close to nature is when I feel close to God.

Judy said...

I'm so happy for you!

Today, I am endulging in the healing of making something out of paper and odd bits. It's my form of healing. It's been TOO loooong.

Just what The Doctor ordered.

Pat said...

There is healing in nature. I live in a neighborhood of close homes and how I would love to live in the country. We have a small cottage that we go to and that is my time to breathe in the "good air".

Pearl said...

What a purrrfect corner in your home. I love corner windows. Hope your feeling better.

Jammie J. said...

Hmmmm, I think I just felt a little bit of healing from reading your words and seeing your pictures there. Thank you ... I needed that tonight. :)

Lisa in Texas = ) said...

I absolutely love your table with the windows. My soul loves things like that - it is so calming.
Have a great day!
Lisa in Texas = )