Saturday, November 18, 2006

Now That I'm Here

Way back when Naomi was around 12, I read something in a magazine. Probably it was just two paragraphs, or so, but it got me all teary-eyed, stuck with me for years, and I often repeated it to women who complained about the messes their children made around the house.

I'll sum up that paragraph (or two) like this: A woman said she used to complain that every time she cleaned a room, her children would mess it back up. But now she'd decided to stop complaining because someday her little girl and boy would grow-up and move far away and then her rooms would be, and stay, achingly clean.

Oh good grief. The things we do to ourselves. Especially that foolish thing we do, that jumping into future places inside our minds where we have no grace to be yet.

I mean, I can't believe I went around for years repeating that story, giving it almost biblical importance. What was I thinking?

Because now, to me, it's yet just one more of those things designed to make us feel that without someone else--in this case, children--Life is empty. Sad. The good times are over. No more. Finis.


Here I sit all these years later over on that other side of which that woman wrote, a place where she had not yet been, but where, I assume, she is now. And in my heart I hope she has come to terms with Life and how it is always changing and becoming something new and different. And how it, then, becomes up to us to make it into something just as special--though it be very different--as what we once knew.

I love my life over on this other side. And I think this story came back to my mind today because I've been cleaning all day and my rooms look--not achingly clean--no! But rather, nicely, cozily, warmly clean. Happily clean. Life-Is-Good clean. And I love coming down the stairs and finding them still that way--unmussed and just the pretty way I left them.

And I'm grateful I've grown-up enough to realize that because Life is always moving, always changing, then I, in order to keep-up and keep sane and happy--I need to keep moving and changing along with Life. Otherwise I just may get left behind in a dark, morbid sort of place all alone.

But with God by my side in all the changes, Life is, instead, becoming quite the big adventure.

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