Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Godzilla Days


Here in this blog I've talked about Fairy days, Nevada Days and who knows what other kind of days.

Lately I am having Godzilla Days. Ugh.

Turns out, this is no simple cold. No, this is the flu. Man, I can understand how elderly people die from this. I've fantasized about crawling beneath our bedroom dresser, lying flat, all the while hoping God would meet me there and whisk me away to Heaven, sick, ailing body and all. (Can you say 'delirious'?)

Yes, these are Godzilla days. My poor house looks like Godzilla trudged through it, and stepped back through the kitchen again and again. I, myself, look like the bride of Godzilla (think I'm kidding?). You are extremely, mightily blessed that you cannot see me right now. And well, if Godzilla is a big, fat whiner, there's just one more resemblance between us.

And here's what might prove to be a helpful note: If you're looking for a stock to invest in, you may want to try Kleenex. Just trust me on this one.

But I'm grateful for one thing. Even though I have phone calls and emails piling-up and spilling over, God is giving me a break. He's telling me that He's not expecting me to take care of all these loose ends at this moment of sickness. He knows exactly how horrible I'm feeling and He's much too kind to make me feel guilty that, right now, I'm unable to do anything but curl up in my chair and try to stay warm as I watch tv with Tom (he with the arm in the sling).

And over and over I keep giving myself that same permission because part of me wants to push myself to take care of all those emails and phone calls and errands. Part of me wants to cave to the tyranny of the oughts and shoulds (I am stealing that line). Yet almost hourly I remind myself that--even on good days--God only expects me to do what He's giving me the grace to do. Nothing more. Nothing less.

God doesn't stress us out. We do it to ourselves.

And over and over in my near-delirious state, I keep reminding myself of that.


***

...a very special thanks to each of you who left comments after reading my last post...Please keep praying... (she says as she drags herself up the stairs, slow step by slow step, in her greatest, dramatic form... Where are the Oscar people when you need them?) Heh.

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