Tuesday, March 03, 2015

For Whiners and Haters of Themselves

A tweaked post from February of 2010. Because, let's just say, I've been reminded of it often lately.  :)


"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him."   ...James 1:12


So have you watched the new Style Network show called The Ten Things I Hate About Me?

It makes me nuts. (It must have made others bonkers and disappeared in a flash, because now, in 2015, I can't find a single website about it.)

I mean, these women write-in with a list of ten things they hate about themselves, stuff they feel powerless to change on their own. Are they huge problems? Not usually. Which means, their lists end up sounding like whining.

You know--I hate my hair. I hate my figure. I hate how my living room looks. I hate that I can't cook healthy meals. I hate that I can't write thank-you notes. I hate how my house smells. I hate my clothes. I hate how I never finish anything I start.

Good grief.

You know what I hate? I hate it when women sound so darn helpless. 

Complaining is so very easy. Yet complaining wastes time and ruins everything. It certainly ruined things for the ol' Israelites of Bible days:

"Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the Lord, and when he heard them his anger was aroused. Then fire from the Lord burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp." Numbers 11:1


How about, instead, discovering ways to fix what's wrong? Or praying about what we cannot repair? Or asking for help from a friend rather than flying out to appear on a tv show? Or accepting what we cannot change, but changing what we can? Or accepting our imperfect selves and basking in Jesus' perfect love for us? And doing all things through the strength and wisdom He gives? 

But hating ourselves for our flaws? No. Please never go there again.

What am I saying? If you do hate something about yourself, well, fix it. If you hate your living room, rearrange it. Make it unique and different (paint that wall you hate. Ask for help if you need it.) Find some doable ideas online. 

If you hate your hair, make an appointment to have it changed, ask a friend for help or learn to change it, yourself. If you hate your body, seriously look into nutrition and exercise (and if you think you can't exercise, recall those tv shows you've seen where the elderly sit in chairs and do toning exercises. I've had some lazy days in my life where I've watched them and thought, "Wow! Pretty strenuous stuff compared to what I've done lately!")

If you hate that you don't have extra money, discover ways to stop spending in some areas so you can start spending in others. 

If you hate clutter, clear one corner at a time, learn to let go and then deal with the reason why the clutter invaded your home in the first place.

In other words, complaining, blaming and waiting for someone else to do it all for us--they change nothing, except for paralyzing us with their heaviness. Push away apathy and helplessness, then do what you can. Seek answers and never fall for the "I can't help it" lie. Or just ask for help. Or pray. Or wait patiently, sweetly for the things which require time. Or accept what you cannot change (make certain first, though, that it truly can't be changed).

But whichever choice you make, please do not hate yourself. You'll go nowhere, well, except to despondency. And who wants to live there?


"The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne."   ... Revelation 3:22

Be inventive. Be creative. Be smart. Be open to new ideas. But do not be mad at


I see the 'someone, please do it all for me' attitude" at some Facebook coupon pages all the time. Often newbies come along and want--not help in learning--but people to do all the work for them, work which took the rest of us years as we taught ourselves all the complicated tricks of saving money. The best way to learn anything? Plunge in, yourself. Do research, study, show up, take notes, learn by doing and making your own mistakes. It's the only--and best--way:

"Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else..."   ... Galations 6:4


I finally got pro-active about decorating the top of our stairway:

It does feel great to make changes, to complete things, to overcome inertia or a lack of creative ideas..

(These were the stairs out at our farmhouse, lest anyone wonder and also, lest anyone actually think I did something this productive today.)  :)


Free Kindle books:

Until Forever

With Every Letter

1 comment:

azohanaman said...

Nicely done, Debra, and SO true.