Friday, October 24, 2014

What If This Is It?


"To everything there is a season..."  ... Ecclesiastes 3:1

"Sometimes you just have to dance to the music that's playing."   ... Seeley Booth on Bones.


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When we moved to Hobbit Cottage it was to escape, really, Life on the big ol', bad ol' farm where, instead of simplicity, we found complication growing on all 4 acres. Our new tiny home was a temporary reprieve place where we'd remain until we recovered from our farm days or until Tom found a job again--whichever came first.

Lately I'm thinking God's gonna keep us here in Hobbit Cottage forever

Well, until we move into an old folks' home or Heaven, whichever--again--comes first.  And I've been quiet lately while sitting on the red couch asking myself, "Can I accept that? Am I truly okay with this 860 sq. ft. house with woefully few closets and limited standing room upstairs being my last home of my own on Earth?"

I haven't yet said yes because it also means accepting that I'm no longer 35 and able to move mountains of laundry. Or paint whole rooms and rearrange their furniture then step outside to mow the lawn before returning to make a big dinner--all in an afternoon.

Basically, I still haven't accepted, graciously, that I've slowed down.

Nor have I accepted that, gulp, I would come to resent even my dream house, (that is, if I even survived the move into it), for its extra rooms which would constantly nag me to clean them or zap our bank account (and my pride) because of the need to hire Cleaning Pixies to scrub them when I couldn't keep up. Or just didn't want to.

True acceptance is a process, it must be examined like a diamond with its facets, all flaws noticed, and is never completed in only one day.

But there is good news. God's telling me my own personal seasons are changing--again. True, I'm  no longer 35, but He's rotating things around to show me who I'm becoming: what I enjoy now, but didn't before. What I can still do and what I must humble myself and ask for help to do. How I need to accept these changes before I can make exciting new discoveries. How I can still find creative solutions for problems, but will need to discover them in unique-to-me, more patient ways.

And how He is still here to walk me through all this.

If you don't get being all about decorating/creativity/houses (since you were, like, 12), you might not understand this post. You might leave comments telling me to get a grip, there are other things in life.

But if you'll, instead, plug in whatever you are most passionate about--and face its loss--maybe you will get it. And I think we all 'of a certain age' can comprehend letting go of some dreams and activities we previously found simple... and knowing we must accept these changes if we wish to continue our journey with joy.

Go carrying your suitcases of unresolved issues and unforgiveness and then joy, most likely, will hide behind trees.







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"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors...."   ...Romans 8:37

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” 
― Ann Landers



“And the beauty of a woman, with passing years only grows!” 
― Audrey Hepburn



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Trust me--I'm grateful for this little house with golden trees and a river outside our windows (for nearly 15 years at Autumn Cottage we had a brick wall on one side, a fluorescent-blue one on the other). The real estate ad for our house 3 years ago stated this was a pretty corner lot--and how true that was. And how easily I can believe that--if we must live here 'forever'--God was sweet enough to place us at such a nice spot.






Oh, and on another more positive note, I'd lowered my dosage of Vitamin D3 to 2,000 units, thinking, "Hey, it's summer. I'll get enough sun." Then I sat in the shade and inside a lot. (Brilliant, right?) 

So after reading last week that Vitamin D3 is great at combating muscle weakness, I went back to 4,000 units (divided doses) and what a difference! My muscles are now more inclined to keep up with my energy level. Whew.


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Free Kindle books:


Middlemarch

Travelers Rest

Raking in the Cash

How Can I Keep From Singing?







7 comments:

Terri Cheney said...

In the past three years, God has asked me to relinquish many dreams and hopes held for my future and to trust Him and His future for me. There were a few dreams that were gut wrenching. I feel the tug of them occasionally still but remind myself that God always gives me BETTER than I hope for myself.

One of those dreams has had to do with moving away from here. I love the property but not the house. I wanted a new place to love and transform in my own simple ways and to revitalize me. Instead I've been led to quietly go about making this the house I will live in and this the place that I will stay. It's not been without a struggle.

I did want to suggest that you take Vit D3. I've found that while I may never again be a young energetic thing I do have far far more energy and less pain. It's been a great bonus to me. I also reintroduced iodized salt to my diet. We don't eat fish and apparently my iodine levels affected my thyroid. I stepped away from soy based products that were affecting my thyroid function. Physically feeling better does alter emotional health I find and when you are prone to blue-ish thinking it is a huge help.

Debra said...

Thanks for sharing your story, Terri!

Oh yes! I highly believe in taking Vitamin D3 and over the past 6, or so, years it's totally changed how I feel about our long winters, even--and that's huge. My energy level this summer remained the same--high--but it's like my muscles couldn't keep up. They felt like they wanted to drag along the ground(!) It's been great seeing a good difference in such a short while and being back to 'my new normal.' :)

Thanks again.... Blessings, Debra

Pam said...

Debra and Terri, I sure appreciate your honesty. Life can get pretty complicated. When I was younger, I always thought I'd have things figured out by the time I turned 60, but I was wrong! Terri, like you, I'm trying to accept some losses with God's help. And I can identify with you, Debra, because my housing goals for retirement recently bit the dust. Looks like we'll be staying in the old farmhouse. I am grateful for our home,and if God wants us here, I know He'll help us figure things out. It's not easy to give up our dreams, but God knows what's best for us.

Anonymous said...

Oh,Debra, I can relate to letting go, accepting what is and being thankful.
Seven years ago, in my late 60s I got the first inkling of what the letting go process was all about. God figuratively needed to hit me side the head to get my attention in this area.
Now some seven years later my body throws pain messages at me when I do more than I should. I am not a very good listener and unfortunately have always felt my worth was connected to what I did.
I easily told other, "You are a human being, not a human doing!" But I have trouble hearing that message myself.
I have walked with God since I was a young child but toddler-like I have stopped to do my own thing too many times.
These days I have more contentment in doing less.
I so want my life to be this verse," My grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made perfect in weakness."
Jan in Maine

Anonymous said...

You have a cute, cozy home in a peaceful spot that many folks would call THEIR dream home. Maybe instead of looking at it as loss and as "letting go of dreams", you could consider that the content and shape of dreams CHANGE with seasons of life and the continual shaping of our character.

Went from a 2400 sq ft home to sharing half of it with my son's small family. A blessing given to others and a burden lifted for my husband and myself as well as a lesson learned -and a shaping of character - for both families.


Happiness comes and goes; contentedness is long-lasting.

Debra said...

Thanks, Everyone! I always love hearing your own stories and I do appreciate your commenting and letting me know you understand.

Anonymous--When a dream I'm letting go of is being able to have my own mother *ever* come to visit us, well, that's a rough one, indeed. Or anyone else who can't do stairs--they can't spend the night with us. We've always loved having overnight company, but we can't do that here with the majority of people we used to have stay with us.

Also, our home is not efficient--and you've not been here to see that. Lots of people tell me to just be content, but the wild thing? They all have larger homes (and closets!) than I do, or they did at this season of their lives. Only those in my same situation get it.

Right now we're trying to fix the things that aren't working for us, but well, the fixes are taking months ,even years and are a test to our patience.

I probably haven't explained all this well in earlier posts because I don't like to complain, but I guess I should be more open and detailed...

Thanks again, Everyone! Blessings, Debra

Mrs. Mac said...

Sometimes our dreams change especially once conquered. If your home is too tiny at this stage in life .. and you have the means .. then upgrade. It's OK to move on to the next dream if the current one has come to pass and filled your needs at the time ... because there is such a thing as waiting too long and then being unable to make a life change.