"You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." ... Psalm 16:11
Friday? Another enchanted day at Hobbit Cottage. I sat on the front porch in 67 soft, breezy degrees, stared at the sparkling blue river at our street's end then leaned my head back, closed my eyes and smiled with gratitude nearly oozing from my dangling fingers.
Then later while sitting upon The Red Couch, my eyes caught a movement outside the dining room windows and oh...! Look what perched upon one of the shepherd staff poles out there:
A large broad-winged hawk (except mine had a more beautiful breast, with more snowy white.) I stood at the windows, staring at him, then he lifted his great wings and danced upon the top of our hedge then sunk into them, perhaps hunting for sparrows (a few who were silly enough to stick around). Eventually he left and I sighed with happiness, though wishing Tom had been home to behold this gorgeous creature.
Life is so very good here. And yet? I realized something last night.
See,Tom and I are making our way through the 100 episodes available on Netflix of CSI New York, this being our middle-aged idea of high adventure. heh.
Anyway, in last night's episode, Mac nearly dies from a gunshot wound and while he's on the operating table he holds imaginary conversations with his CSI team. At one point, Jo (Sela Ward) asks Mac (who's believing he'll die soon), "What will you miss the most?"
And after he answered that he'd miss his team and his job, I suddenly asked myself, "What would I miss if I were to die?" And you know? My own list, also, was quite short, namely--people. I'd miss my favorite people (some of whom are reading this right now).
But all else? Hobbit Cottage and dear old Buffalo and estate-sale-stepping through old houses? Writing, decorating, sharing my heart and my photos? Living old-fashioned in a new-fangled world? Gorgeous, sunny days that make me feel 10 again? Autumn, lakes, mountains, drives through the countryside with Tom, morning coffee on the front porch? Favorite tv shows, movies, traveling in and out of state? Gardening, books, shopping? No, I mused. I wouldn't miss those much at all.
And I found that odd. The 'old Debra', even the new and improved one from 1994 and beyond, used to worry (a bit) that she held onto all those too tightly. That she wasn't ready to let go just yet, not until she swam around in Life a bit more, bought more, traveled more, taught more, played more, learned more.
Yet now, last night, I knew this to be true: God, now, means more to me than all the beautiful things this life affords. This moment-by-moment consciousness of Him which never leaves me, has become all I truly want. It's only He who makes this an amazing, satisfying world, after all, and--since I'll be taking Him with me to the next world--the same will hold true there.
As long as I have God, He who fills every void, I'll have no lack, no real need and besides people? I'd miss nothing much at all about this beautiful world which He created as a type of waiting place, a school, for His kids.
So Jo--not that you asked me--but if you had, there is my answer.
"He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’"
... Luke 10:27
Yesterday it rained all day so we stayed home (except when I bought emergency cat food at 7-11) and didn't make it to a local bookstore I'd been meaning to visit again for literally years. So I ordered this book online, A Deadly Grind, instead. Now, I've not read it yet, but I thought some of you also might find it an interesting possibility.