Tuesday, August 28, 2007
This and That
Yesterday was fun. I met with a woman from the Maud Hart Lovelace online email group and we did the 'Tacy Tour' here in my area. (No axe-murdering took place...heh... She and I shared stories of how our mothers, especially, get concerned when we visit with people we met online.) The real Tacy of the Betsy-Tacy books moved to Buffalo after her marriage, Maud Hart Lovelace (Betsy) often visited her here, and both 'Tacy' and her husband are buried nearby. For photos from our day together, go here. But if you've not read the books, the photos will probably, well, not exactly thrill your heart.
Then after lunch at that Happy Days-like place on the river, she followed me in her car miles and miles out to the countryside, the road Tom and I take amongst all the farmland, barns and cobblestone houses, the road which would take her home. We stopped at the secluded book cabin I've mentioned here before, left our quarters and bills in the metal box by the door (remember, this is the tiny place run on the honor system) then said good-bye. Ah... another gold star day for my diary.
And then there's today.
My, my... After all that whirlwind, memorable activity yesterday and after all the cleaning of the house the past week and a half (and all the people walking through it, even last night), well, today has been quiet. I keep feeling I should GO somewhere.... DO something... SPEND some money... but God keeps saying, "Just enjoy the quietness of home. Read some books," He says... "Sit on the porch... RELAX. Spend some extra time with me."
Normally, I have no problem just hanging-out. Normally, I pray for days like this. But you get used to a faster pace and it becomes harder to come down from that. There's a sort of jarring deep inside and you--no, I'll get back to me--I start asking God, "Are you sure this taking a break for a whole day is ok?" Then he says, "If I'm telling you to take a break, then of course it's ok!"
But all that reminded me of something else--so often I only think I want something, when really, I'm not even certain I'd like it if I got it. I mean, many times I'll be out and about and busy--and wishing to be home alone in the silence, able to read or just lounge peacefully. Or so often on Tom's (many) days off he's wanted me to watch a movie with him or to travel someplace and I've thought, "Sigh... I wish I could just have a day all to myself."
Well, Tom's away and now I have these few days to myself. And frankly? Having Sunday afternoon mostly to myself was enough. Enough freedom to do whatever I wished whenever I wanted to. Those hours felt long enough for no constraints upon my time.
And already I find myself happily anticipating Tom's return. And more, I've been reminded that interruptions aren't so bad after all... and a To Do List isn't something to dread, nor is structure a curse... Not always having my own way means I very often have adventures I never would have had otherwise... and most often, what I really desire is only a tad of something--it could be anything--instead of a whole lot. Usually what I need is just a small change--not an enormous one. And sometimes just a tiny tweak in my attitude can make my whole life appear new.
But it remains for me to always be open to asking this--what is God after? What is He wanting to change within me? And then pausing, lest I miss His whisper.
Most days? What I need isn't more money or a larger house, but more wisdom and creativity. Not more attention or fame, but more humility. Not more time, but more wisely-spent time. Not better friends or relatives, but more forgiveness--and mercy.