"Where's Tom?"

For the first twenty years of our marriage, Tom was always on the worship team of any church we attended. 

Church to church, people were charmed by his singing and more, by the way he could lead a congregation to what felt like the very throne of God. And more than anyone else, I loved to hear him sing, also, be it at home, at church, around camp fires or at the occasional concert where he sang alone or with a band.

But one thing made me crazy. 

Being in the power plant, a business which operates 24/7 and is known for its wild work schedules, Tom often had to miss church one or two Sundays each month. There was no avoiding that. Yet always I would pack up Naomi and we'd go to church on those Tom-less Sundays. And no matter which church, the same old thing would happen when I would walk through the doors. 

People would look at me, smile real big and then ask, "Where's Tom?"

Man, over and over. Time after time, "Where's Tom?" Not, "Good to see you, Debra!" or "How are you doing, Debra?" or "My! Aren't you the faithful little thing, Debra."

Nope, always just plain ol' thoughtless, "Where's Tom?"

Well, when you're the shy, insecure mess that I used to be, that kind of thing stirs up your nerves. I mean, it didn't matter how 'important' I became in any church or how many classes I taught or how many acts of kindness I did, still, year after year it was, "Where's Tom?"

Since I do try to be honest in this blog, well,  I'll say here that it took me around 20 years to finally stop getting my feelings hurt by that constant "Where's Tom?" stuff. But the hurt stopped only God became more important to me than people. It ceased only after my love for God grew stronger than my love for everyone else.

And also? When I realized people are just people and I need to give them time and space to grow. You know, like God had given me much time.

Oh, all this took so much change, dying to self, lessons, time and --but God proved faithful and got His points across. Thankfully.

And those changes are what I write about in this blog. The changes God has made in my life are what I'm recording here.

Anyway, the difference now? Indescribable. Go ahead and ask me, "Where's Tom?" when I step through any door.

I'll just pause, then God and I will laugh at the silliness of it all.


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