We survived our two-day yard sale.
Well, barely. Oh, the humidity!
But we met the sweetest people on the planet, some who even said it had been nice visiting with us. And everybody loved our hydrangea bush. They asked what I did to make it look so blue and gorgeous and I told them, "Nothing. Doing nothing is the key."
You could recognize the people who came because of Naomi's Buffalo's Craig's List ad (complete with pictures of all her vintage stuff). They were young, in sunglasses, they browsed wordlessly, seriously and were dressed simply, with great, classic style (I'm always jealous of people who have that knack). Then there was everyone else--the farm folk, most of them sweet, but a couple were a pain.
I so enjoyed the sweet people. As they walked down the driveway with their treasures I wanted to call out, "Come back soon, ok? I'm thinking you're a kindred spirit." But well, I didn't, of course. Some folks have that knack, too. You know, they can meet someone and become lifelong friends in five minutes. But alas, I am so lacking that gene, that grace. But at least God's made me less shy, more friendly than I used to be.
Yard sales. You can have great fun while you hold one, appreciating the chance to speak with all sorts of interesting people--or--you can sit there and feel embarrassed because so much of what you once bought still remains, unsold, and be annoyed by the whole troublesome task.
This weekend, Tom, Naomi and I chose the former view. And even in all the summer heat, we made memories. We had pleasurable family time.
But still, we each swore we'd never buy another trinket again in our lives. :)
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Attitude, attitude, attitude......
The best thing about first going online? For me, it was finding people just like myself.
And ok, that sounds rather self-serving and prideful, but let me explain.
You should have seen me as a teenager. I was shy. I listened to my friends speak and then be afraid to share my vastly-different feelings. I was so unlike my immediate family that, if my face didn't resemble my dad's, I'd have insisted I was adopted.
I read different books than my friends read, loved old black and white movies, classical music and walked to school in my own dreamy-eyed world while humming 1950's show tunes.
I was one odd cookie.
But then I got married at 19 and perhaps because I was exhausted from trying to hold onto my uniqueness for years, I just gave-in. I became a lot like Tom and tried to be what our pastor and his wife told me I should be (at one point, they told me to stop writing kind notes to people and just speak those things aloud). I tried to imitate the other young wives in our church so that I would fit in and no longer lose friends because of my different preferences.
And then I wondered why, for the next 16 years, I was often unhappy.
Duh.
But then God began a work of recreating me, of remaking the fake Debra I had invented. And He showed me that all along He'd never aimed to turn me into some generic form of everybody else, but rather, He'd wanted to create something very unique. He desired to shine through me in unusual, even odd and different ways.
And how refreshing to just relax, be myself and stop apologizing for--or running from-- my creative self.
And then, five years later, God took me to the Land of Online and I was shocked to meet lots of other people so like my real self! Here online, at 40, I discovered people who I'd wished had attended high school with me. If only I'd known all of you way back when, then I'd not have felt like such an odd character on the Stage of Life! I'd have felt comfortable in my own skin,being surrounded by kindred spirits.
But you know? There's that 'all things work together for good' thing which God speaks of. If my many mistakes helped carry me to this better, more confident place? Well, that's not such a tragedy. Now I understand how other insecure people feel. I've felt their pain--and I can help guide them out of it.
Or rather, God can, especially now that I am myself, no one else. He can more easily show His empathy through someone real, someone He recreated, from the basement upward, Himself.
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Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew [and] approved of you [as My chosen instrument], and before you were born I separated and set you apart..."
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Truth will set you free. God can easily do miracles when He finds Himself where truth is rampant.
So. Our moving plans are on hold.
Tom and I realized that what is bothering us--me, especially--is this huge expanse of lawn and my having to mow it four or five days a week in all this hot, sticky, humid, stifling weather.
Tom hadn't mowed for some weeks because his favorite tractor is in the shop and his other tractor is a pain to use (long story) and playing farmer isn't the thrill it once was.
But finally, he began mowing again and I'm feeling more hopeful.
So instead of putting the ol' farm up for sale, we're thinking perhaps next summer we can hire a lawn-mowing service once or twice a month. I've made up my mind that I refuse to mow the lawn more than three days a week next summer, for Life is plain bleak when I mow more often. And because we're paring down our stuff and won't be haunting as many estate sales, we should have some extra money for the lawn service.
And no, I do not want to just use a tractor, myself. Do not go there in my message box, ok? ツ
Anyway, though we're still seriously considering downsizing and retiring in Oregon, we're just not thinking of doing it, like, tomorrow.
So that's where we are. For now, anyway.
Today's lesson? Learn to identify what it is that's actually bugging you (don't be vague or say, "Life in general.").
Then ask yourself, "Is there a way I can fix this?" Then fix it. Or partially fix it. Tweak it. Or seek to happily live with it. Or find another way to deal with it.
But do not make a rash decision because of stress, frustration, hormonal angst and long hot, sticky summer weather just to ease the pressure.
Rash decisions usually lead to worse problems. And regret. And who wants those?
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This article about downsizing totally inspired my socks off yesterday. It confirmed a ton of the ideas flying around my brain lately.
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Frustration is trying to do something you can do nothing about. It's also doing nothing about something you could change.
